« AnteriorContinuar »
Will in the Wisp, has no other meaning than a Madem. No, only tell dy master, all I have
Raz. Don't you interrupt me, hussy ; 'tis should you like to be served so ?
such a rogue, my,
dear? to deliver up her fair body, to be tumbled and Madem. Voilà un vrai Anglois ! il est mumbled by that young liquorish whipster, amoureux, et cependant il veut raisonner. Va Heartfree. Now, are you satisfied ?
t'en au diable ! Madem. No.
Raz. Hold once more : In hopes thou'lt give
[Erit MADEMOISELLE. Madem. In Spriny-Garden, dat rogue Con- Raz. (Licking his lips.] Not be a rogue?stant meet dy lady.
Amor vincit omnia.
[Erit Razor. Raz. Bon. Madem. I'll tell dee no more.
Enter LADY FANCIFUL and MADEMOISELLE. Raz. Nay, prithee, my swan.
Lady Fan. Marry, say ye? Will the two
Lady Fan. Look you, mademoiselle, in short,
[Going. I can't bear it-No; I find I can't-If once I Ruz. Hold – Now proceed.
see them a-bed together I shall have ten thou[Gives her a hearty kiss. sand thoughts in iny head will make me run disMadem. A ça-I hide myself in one cunning tracted. Therefore, run and call Razor back place, where I hear all, and see all. First, dy immediately; for something must be done to drunken master come mal à propos ; but de sot stop this impertinent wedding. If I can hut defer no know his own dear wife, so he leave her it four and twenty hours, I'll make such work sport.-Den de game begin. De lover say soft about town, with that little pert slut's reputation, ting: De lady look upon de ground. (As she he shall as soon marry a witch. speaks, Razor still acts the man, and she the Madem. [Aside.] La voilà bien intentionée. woman.) He take her by de hand : She turn her
[Excunt. head on oder
way. Den he squeeze very hard :
Enter CONSTANT and HEARTFREE.
Con. But what dost think will become of this de arbour: Den she pinch him.
business? Raz. Ay, but not so hard, you baggage you.
Heart. 'Tis easier to think what will not come Madem. Den he grow bold : she grow weak, of it. he tro ber down, il tombe dessu, le diable Con. What's that? assist
, il emport tout; [Razor struggles with Heart. A challenge. I know the knight too her, as if he would throw her down.] stand off, well for that; his dear body will always prevail sirrah!
upon his noble soul to be quiet. Raz. You have set me a-fire, you jade, you.
Con. But though he dare not challenge me, Madem. Den go to de river, and quench dy- perhaps he may venture to challenge bis wife. self.
Heart, Not if you whisper him in the ear, Raz. What an unnatural harlot this!
you won't have him do't; and there's no other Madem. Razor,
way left that I see. For as drunk as he was, [ Looking languishingly on him. he'll remember you and I were where we should Raz. Mademoiselle !
not be; and I don't think him quite blockhead Madem. Dou no love me?
enough yet, to be persuaded we were got into Raz. Not love thee? More than a French- his wife's closet only to peep into her prayer
Enter a Servant, with a letter.
Serv. Sir, here's a letter; a porter brought it.
man does soup
Con. O ho! here's instructions for us. (Reads. | ury itself could clothe me with, I still should
envy you. • The accident, that has happened, has touched our invention to the quick. We would fain loving one, doubtless, is better than to possess a
Heart. And justly, too; for to be capable of come off' without your help; but find that's im- thousand.' But how far that capacity's in me, possible. In a word, the whole business must alas, I know not. be thrown upon a matrimonial intrigue between
Con. But you would know. your friend and mine. But if the parties are Heart. I would so. not fond enough to go quite through with the
Con. Matrimony will inform you. Come, one • matter, 'tis suthicient for our turn, they own the Aight of resolution carries you to the land of design. We'll find pretences enough to break experience ; where, in a very moderate time, the match.
you'll know the capacity of your soul and Well, women for invention ! How long your body both, or I'm mistaken. [Ereunt. would
my block head have been producing this! Hey, Heartfree. What, musing, man? Prithee SCENE V, -Sir John Brute's house. be cheerful: What say'st thou, friend, to this matrimonial remedy?
Enter LADY BRUTE and BELINDA, Heart. Why, I say, it's worse than the dis- Bel. Well, madam, what answer have you
them? Con. Here's a fellow for you! There's beauty Lady Brute. That they'll be here this moment. and money on her side: and love up to the ears I fancy 'twill end in a wedding : I'm sure he's a on his : And yet
fool, if it don't. Ten thousand pounds, and such Heart. And yet, I think, I may reasonably a lass as you are, is no contemptible offer to a be allowed to boggle at marrying the niece in younger brother. But are you not under strange the very moment that you are debauching the agitations ? Prithee, how does your pulse beat?
Bel. High and low; I have much ado to be Con. Why, truly, there may be something in valiant: Is it not very strange to go to bed with that. But have not you a good opinion enough a inan? of your own parts, to believe you could keep a Lady Brute. Um-it is a little odd at first, but wife to yovrself?
it will soon grow easy to you. Heart. I should have, if I had a good opinion enough of hers, to believe she could do as
Enter Constant and HEARTFREE, much by me. l'or, to do thein right, after all, the Good-morrow, gentlemen ! Ilow have you slept wite seldom rambles, till the husband shews her after your adventure?
Heart. Some careful thoughts, ladies, on your Con 'lis true, a man of real worth scarce accounts, have kept us waking. ever is a cuckold, but by his own fault. Women Bel. And some careful thoughts on your own, are not naturally lewd ; there must be some- I believe, have hindered you from sleeping. Pray, thing to urge them to it. They'll cuckold a how does this matrimonial project relish with churl, out of revenge ; a fool, because they you? despise. hiin ; a beast, because they leath Heart. Why, faith, even as storming towns him. But, when they make told with a man does with soldiers, where the hopes of delicious they once had a well-grounded value for, plunder banishes the fear of being knocked on 'tis, because they first see themselves neglected the head.
Bel. Is it then possible, after all, that you dare Heart. Well then, shall I marry, or die a think of downright lawful wedlock? maid?
Heart. Madam, you have made me so foolCon. Why faith, Heartfree, matrimony is like hardy, I dare do any thing. an army going to engage. Love's the forlorn Bel. Then, sir, I challenge you; and matrimohope, which is soon cut off; the marriage knot ny's the spot, where I expect you. is the main body, which may stand buff a Heurt. 'Tis enough; i'll not fail (Aside.] So, long long time; and repentance is the rear- I am in for Hobbe's voyage; a great leap guard, which rarely gives ground, as long as the in the dark. main body has a being.
Lady Brute. Well, gentlemen, this matter beHeart, Conclusion, then; you advise me to ing concluded, then, have you got your lessons reawhore on as you do.
dy; for sir John is grown such an atheist of late, Con. That's not concluded yet. For though mar- he'll believe nothing upon easy terms ? riage be a lottery, in which there are a wond- Con. We'll find ways to extend his faith, maous many blanks; yet there is one inestimable dam. But, pray, how do you find him this mornlot, in ubich the only heaven on earth is writing?
Would your kind fate but guide your hand Lady Brute. Most lamentably morose, chewto that, though I were wrapt in all, that lux- ing the cud after last night's discovery; of which,
however, he has but a confused notion even now. but that's past, and I have her. And now, what But I'm afraid the valet de chambre has told him shall I do with her?—If I put my horns into my all; for they are very busy together at this mo- pocket, she'll grow insolent--if I don't, that goat ment. When I told him of Belinda's marriage, there, that stallion, is ready to whip me through I had no other answer but a grunt: From which you the guts—The debate, then, is reduced to this; may draw what conclusions you think fit.--But to shall I die a hero, or live a rascal ? —Why, wiser your notes, gentlemen, he's here.
men than I have long since concluded, that a liEnter Sir John and RAZOR.
ving dog is better than a dead lion. [To Con.
and HEART.] Gentlemen, now my wine and my Con. Good-morrow, sir.
passion are governable; I must own, I never obHeart. Good-morrow, sir John; I'm very sor- served any thing in my wife's course of life, to ry my indiscretion should cause so much disorder back me in my jealousy of her: But jealousy's a in your family.
mark of love; so she need not trouble her head Sir John. Disorders generally come from in- about it, as long as I make no more words on't. discretion, sir ; 'tis no strange thing at all.
Lady Brute. I hope, my dear, you are satisfi- Lady Fancyful enters disguised, and addresses ed there was no wrong intended
BELINDA aside. you. Sir John. None, my dove.
Con. I'm glad to see your reason rule at last. Bel. If not, I hope my consent to marry Mr Give me your hand : I hope you'll look upon me Heartfree will convince you.
For as little as I as you are wont. know of amours, sir, I can assure you, one in- Sir John. Your humble servant.-[Aside.] A trigce is enough to bring four people together, wheedling son of a whore ! without further mischief.
Heart. And that I may be sure you are friends Sir John. And I know, too, that intrigues tend with me, too, pray give me your consent to wed to procreation of more kinds than one. One in- your niece. trigue will beget another, as soon as beget a son Sir John. Sir, you have it with all my heart: or a daughter.
Damn me if you han't.-[Aside.] 'Tis time to get Con. I am very sorry, sir, to see you still seem rid of her. A young pert pimp: she'll make an unsatisfied with a lady, whose more than common incomparable bawd in a little time. virtue, I am sure, were she my wife, should meet a better usage:
Enter a servant, who gives HEARTFREE a letter, Sir John. Sir, if her conduct has put a trick Bel. Heartfree your husband, say you ? 'Tis upon her virtue, her virtue's the bubble, but her impossible ! husband's the loser.
Lady Fan. Would to kind Heaven it were ! Con. Sir, you have received a sufficient answer But 'tis too true; and in the world there lives already, to justify both her conduct and mine. not such a wretch. I'm young; and, either I have You'll pardon me for meddling in your family- been flattered by my friends, as well as glass, or affairs; but I perceive I am the man you are jea- nature has been kind and generous to me. I had lous of, and therefore it concerns me.
a fortune, too, was greater
far than he could ever Sir John. Would it did not concern me! and hope for; but with my heart I am robbed of all then I should not care who it concerned. the rest. I am slighted and I'm beggared both at
Con. Well, sir, if truth and reason won't con- once : I have scarce a bare subsistence from the tent you, I know but one way more, which, if villain, yet dare complain to none; for he has you think fit, you may take.
it ever 'tis known I am his wife, he'll murSir John. Lord, sir, you are very hasty : If I der me.
[Weeping: had been found at prayers in your wife's closet, Bel. The traitor! I should have allowed you twice as much time to Lady Fan. I accidentally was told he courted come to vourself in.
you : Charity soon prevailed upon me to prevent Con. Nay, sir, if time be all you want, we bave your misery: And, as you see, I'm still so geneno quarrel.
rous, even to him, as not to suffer he should do Heart. I told you how the sword would work any thing, for which the law might take away his (Sir John muses life,
[Weeping. Con. Let him muse : however, I'll lay fifty Bel. Poor creature ! How I pity her! pounds our foreman brings us in, not guilty.
[They continue talking aside. Sir John (Aside.]. 'Tis well—'tis very
well-In Heart. [Aside.] Death and damnation ! spite of that young jade's matrimonial intrigue, 'Let me read it again. [Reads.] • Though I have am a downright stinking cuckold—Here they are a particular reason not to let you know who I —B00—(Putting his hand to his forehead.) Me- am till I see you; yet you'll easily believe 'tis thinks I could butt with a bull. What the plague'a faithful friend, that gives you this advice. I did I marry her for? I knew she did not like have lain with Belinda.' (Good !) • I have a child me; if she had, she would have lain with me; by her,' (Better and better!) which is now at for I would have done so, because I liked her; nurse ;' (Heaven be praised !) and I think the
foundation laid for another;' (Ha !-Old true- Raz. A villain--but a repenting villain. penny !) “No rack could have tortured this sto- All. Razor ! ry from me; but friendship has done it. I heard Lady Brute. What means this? . of your design to marry her, and could not see Raz. Nothing without my pardon. you abused. Make use of iny advice, but keep Lady Brute. What pardon do you want? my secret till I ask you for it again. Adieu.' Raz. Imprimis, Your ladyship’s, for a dam
[Exit LADY FANCYfUl. nable lie upon your spotless virtue, and set to the Con. to Bel. Come, madam, shall we send for tune of Spring Garden.-[To Sir John.] Next, at the parson? I doubt here's no business for the my generous master's feet I bend, for interruptlawyer : Younger brothers have nothing to settle ing his more noble thoughts with phantoms of but their hearts; and that, I believe, my friend disgraceful cuckoldom.-(To Con.) Thirdly, I to here has already done very faithfully:
this gentleman apply, for making him the hero of Bel. (Scornfully.) Are you sure, sir, there are my romance.—[ TO HEART.]Fourthly, your pardon, no old mortgages upon it?
noble sir, I ask, for clandestinely marrying you, Heart. (Coldly.) If you think there are, ma- without either bidding of banos, bishop's licence, dam, it mayn't be amiss to defer the marriage, till friends, consent-or your own knowledge !
—To you are sure they are paid off.
Bel.] And, lastly, to my good young lady's cleBel. We'll defer it as long as you please, sir. mency I come, for pretending corn was sowed in
Heart. The more time we take to consider on't, the ground, before ever the plough had been in madam, the less apt we shall be to commit over the field. sights; therefore, if you please, we will put it off Sir John. (Aside.] So that, after all, 'tis a moot for just nine months.
point, whether I am a cuckold or not. Bel. Guilty consciences make men cowards— Bel. Well, sir, upon condition you confess all, I don't wonder you want time to resolve. I'll pardon you myself, and try to obtain as much
Heart. And they make women desperate-Ifrom the rest of the company. But I must know, don't wonder you were so quickly determined. then, who 'tis has put you upon all this mischief. Bel. What does the fellow mean?
Raz. Satan, and his equipage : woman tempt Heart. What does the lady mean?
ed me; vice weakened me- and so the devil Sir John. Zoons, what do you both mean? [Heart, and Bel. walk chafing about. Bel. Then, pray,
will make us acquainted Raz. [Aside.] Here is so much sport going to with your tempter? be spoiled, it makes me ready to weep again, A Ruz. [To Madem.] Unmask, for the honour of pox o' this impertinent lady Fancyful, and her France. plots, and her Frenchwoman, too; she's a whim- dll. Mademoiselle ! sical, ill-natured bitch; and, when I have got my Madem. Me ask ten thousand pardon of all de bones broke in her service, 'tis ten to one but my good company. recompense is a slap : I hear them tittering with- Sir John, Why, this mystery thickens, instead out still. Ecod! I'll e'en go lug them both in by of clearing up.[To Raz.) You son of a whore the
ears, and discover the plot, to secure my par- you, put us out of our pain! don.
[Exit Razor. Raz. One moment brings sunshine. (Shewing Con. Prithee, explain, Heartfree,
Madem.] 'Tis true, this is the woman that temptHeart. A fair deliverance; thank my stars and ed me; but this is the serpent that tempted the
woman: and, if my prayers might be heard, her Bel. 'Tis well it went no farther; a base fel- punishment, for so doing, should be like the serlow!
pent's of old—[Pulls offLady FANCYFUL's musk.) Lady Brute. What can be the meaning of all she should lie upon her face all the days of her this?
life. Bel. What's his meaning, I don't know; but All. Lady Fancyful ! mine is, that if I had married him—I had had no Bel. Impertinent ! husband.
Lady Brute. Ridiculous ! Heart. And what's her meaning, I don't know; All. Ha, ha, ha, ha, hą ! but mine is, that if I had married her I had had Bel. I hope your ladyship will give me leave wife enough.
to wish you joy, since you have owned your marSir John. Your people of wit have got such riage yourself?-[To HEART.) I vow 'twas strangecrap ways of expressing themselves, they sel-ly wicked in you tovhink of another wife, when dom comprehend one another. Pox take you you had one already so charming as her ladyship, both! will you speak that you may be understood ? All. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Enter Razor in sackcloth, pulling in Lady Fan-it seizes me!
Lady Fan. (Aside. Confusion seize them, as CYFUL and MADEMOISELLE.
Madem. Que le diable étouffe ce maraut de Rac. If they won't, here comes an interpreter. Razor ! Lady Brute. Heavens! What have we here? Bel. Your ladyship seems disordered: A breed
ing qualm, perhaps, Mr Heartfree! Your bottle Sir John. (Aside.] Why now, this woman will of Hungary water to your lady! Why, madam, he be married to somebody, too. stands as unconcerned, as if he were your hus- Bel. Poor creature ! what a passion she's in ! band in earnest.
But I forgive her. Lady Fan. Your mirth's as nauseous as your- Heart. Since you have so much goodness for self. Belinda, you think you triumph over a ri-her, hope you'll pardon my offence, too, madam. val, now; Helas, ma pauvre fille! Where'er I'm Bel. There will be no great difficulty in that, rival, there's no cause for mirth. No, my poor since I am guilty of an equal fault. wretch, 'tis from another principle I have acted. Heart. So, madam; now, had the parson but I knew that thing there would make so perverse a done his businesshusband, and you so impertinent a wife, that, lest Bel. You'd be half weary of your mutual plagues should make you both run Heart. No, sure, I might dispense with one mad, I charitably would have broke the match. night's lodging. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Bel. I'm ready to try, sir.
And if it be our chance to disagree-
Bel. Take heed—the surly husband's fate you All. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!