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Arch. Not at all; I have another for Gipsey. Dor. O'my conscience, I fancy you could beg
Scrub. A guinea for her! Fire and faggot for that fellow at the gallows foot. the witch--Sir, give me that guinea; and I'll Mrs Sul. O my conscience I could, provided discover a plot.
I could put a friend of yours in his room. Arch. A plot!
Dor. 'You desired me, sister, to leave you, Scrub. Ay, sir ; a plot, a horrid plot-- First, it when you transgressed the bounds of honour. must be a plot, because there's a woman in't : Mrs Sul. Thou dear, censorious, country girl secondly it must be a plot, because there's a -What dost mean? You can't think of the man priest in't: thirdly, it must be a plot, because without the bed-fellow, I find. there's French gold in't: and fourthly, it must Dor. I don't find any thing unnatural in that be a plot, because I don't know what to make thought; while the mind is conversant with flesh on't.
and blood, it must conforın to the humours of the Arch. Nor any body else, I'm afraid, brother company. Scrub.
Mrs Sul. How a little love and conversation Scrub. Truly I'm afraid so, too ; for, where improve a woman! Why, child, you begin to live. there's a priest and a woman, there's always a mys You never spoke before. stery. and a riddle-This I know, that here has been Dor. Because I was never spoke to before : the doctor with a temptation in one hand, and my lord has told me that I have more wit and an absolution in the other, and Gipsey has sold beauty than any of the sex; and, truly, I begin herself to the devil; I saw the price paid down ; to think the man is sincere. my eyes shall take their oath on't.
Mrs Sul. You're in the right, Dorinda ; pride Arch. And is all this bustle about Gipsey? is the life of a woman, and Aattery is our daily
Scrub. That's not all ; I could hear but a bread. But I'll lay you a guinea that I had finer word here and there ; but I remember they things said to me than
you had. mentioned a count, a closet, a back-door, and a Dor. Done! What did your fellow say to key.
Arch. The count! did you hear nothing of Mrs Sul. My fellow took the picture of VeMrs Sullen?
nus for mine. Scrub. I did hear some word that sounded that Dor. But my lover took me for Venus herway: but whether it was Sullen or Dorinda, I self. could not distinguish.
Mrs Sul. Common cant! Had my spark calArch. You have told this matter to nobody, I led me a Venus directly, I should have believed brother?
him to be a footman in good earnest. Scrub. Told ! No, sir, I thank you
for that; Dor. But my lover was upon his knees to me. I'm resolved never to speak one word, pro nor
Mrs Sul. And mine was upon his tiptoes to con, till we have a peace.
Arch. You're in the right, brother Scrub. Dor. Mine vowed to die for me. Here's a treaty a-foot between the count and Mrs Sul. Mine swore to die with me. the lady.—The priest and the chamber-maid are Dor. Mine kissed my hand ten thousand plenipotentiaries. It shall go hard but I'll find a times. way to be included in the treaty. Where's the Mrs Sul. Mine has all that pleasure to come. doctor now?
Dor. Mine spoke the softest, moving things. Scrub. He and Gipsey are this moment de- Mrs Sul. Mine had his moving things, too. vouring my lady's marmalade in the closet.
Dor. Mine offered marriage. Aim. (From without.] Martin, Martin !
Mrs Sul. O Lard ! D'ye call that a moring Arch. I come, sir; I come.
thing? Scrub. But you forget the other guinea, bro Dor. The sharpest arrow in his quiver, my ther Martin.
dear, sister : Why, my twenty thousand pounds Arch. Here, I give it with all my
heart. may lie brooding here these seven years, and Scrub. And I take it with all my soul. [Ereunt hatch nothing at last but some ill-natured clown severally. Ecod, I'll spoil your plotting, Mrs like yours: Whereas, if I marry my lord AimGipsey: and if you should set the captain upon well, there will be a title, place, and precedence, me, these two guineas will buy me off. [Erit. the park, the play, and the drawing-room, splen
dour, equipage, noise, and flambeaux-Hey! my Enter Mrs Sullen and Dorinda, meeting. lady Aimwell's servants there!-Lights, lights, to Mrs Sul. Well, sister.
the stairs ! My lady Aimwell's coach, put forDor. And well, sister.
ward !-Stand by; make room for her ladyship! Mrs Sul. What's become of my lord ? Are not these things moving? What, melancholy Dor. What's become of his servant ?
of a sudden ! Mrs Sul. Servant! He's a prettier fellow, and Mrs Sul. Happy, happy, sister! Your angel a finer gentleman, by fitty degrees, than his mas- has been watchful for your happiness, whilst
mine has slept regardless of his charye-Long
smiling years of circling joys for you; but not
Enter FolgarD. one hour for me!
(Weeps. Dor. Come, my dear, we'll talk on something Foig. Save
noble friend. else.
Aim. () sir, your servant. Pray, doctor, may Mrs Sul. O Dorinda! I own myself a woman, I crave your name? full of my sex, a gentle, generous soul-easy and Foig: Fat naam is upon me? My naam i yielding to soft desires; a spacious heart, where Foigard, joy. Jove, and all his train, might lodge: And must Äim. Foigard ! a very good name for a clergythe fair apartment of my breast be made a sta- man. Pray, doctor Foigard, were you ever in ble for a brute to lie in ?
Ireland ? Dor. Meaning your husband, I suppose ? Foig. Ireland ! no, joy. Fat sort of place is
Mrs Sul. Husband! No-Even husband is too dat saam Ireland ? Dey say, de people are catchsoft a name for him. But come, I expect my ed dere when dey are young. brother here to-night, or to-morrow : He was Aim. And some of them here, when they are abroad when my father married me; perhaps old-as for example—[Takes FOIGARD by the he'll find a way to make me easy.
shoulder.]-Sir, I arrest you as a traitor against Dor. Will you promise not to make yourself the government; you're a subject of England, easy, in the mean time, with my lord's friend? and this morning shewed me a commission, by
Mrs Sul. You mistake me, sister: it happens whi you served as chaplain in the French arwith us, as among the men, the greatest talkers my. This is death by our law, and your reverare the greatest cowards: and there's a reason ence must hang for it. for it; those spirits evaporate in prattle, which Foig. Upon my shoul, noble friend, disis strange might do more mischief if they took another news you tell me; fader Foigard a subject of
- Though, to confess the truth, I do England! the son of a burgomaster of Brussels a love that fellow; and if I met him drest as he subject of England ! Ubooboo.should be, and I undrest as I should be
Aim. The son of a bog-trotter in Ireland! sir, Look'e, sister, I have no supernatural gifts ;- your tongue will condemn you before any bench I can't swear I could resist the temptation- in the kingdom. though I can safely promise to avoid it; and Foig. And is my tongue all your evidensh, that's as much as the best of us can do.
[Ereunt. Aim. That's enough. Enter AIMWELL and Archer, laughing.
Foig. No, no, joy; for I will never speak Eng
lish no inore. Arch. And the aukward kindness of the good Aim. Sir, I have other evidence. Here, Marmotherly old gentlewoman
tin, you know this fellow? Ain. And the coming easiness of the young 'Sdeath! 'tis a pity to deceive her.
Enter ARCHER. Arch. Nay, if you adhere to those principles, stop where you are.
Arch. [In a brogue.] ---Saave you, my dear Aim. I can't stop, for I love her to distrac-cussen, how does your health? tion.
Foig. Ah! upon my shoul dere is my countryArch. 'Sdeath, if you love her a hair's breadth man, and his brogue will hang mine.- [ Aside.}--beyond discretion, you must go no farther. Mynhere, Ick wet neat watt hey zacht, Ick Uni
Aim. Well, well, any thing to deliver us from verston ewe neat, sacramant. sauntering away our idle evenings at White's, Aim. Altering your language won't do, sir; Tom's, or Will's, and be stinted to bare looking this fellow knows your person, and will swear to at our old acquaintance, the cards, because our your face. impotent pockets can't afford us a guinea for the Foig. Faash! Fey, is dere brogue upon my mercenary drabs; aud ten thousand such rascal-faash, too? ly tricks—had we outlived our fortunes among Arch. Upon my soulvation dere ish, joyour acquaintance---But now
But, cussen Mackshane, vill you not put a reArch. Aye, now is the time to prerent all this. membrance upon me? Strike while the iron is hot. This priest is the Foig. Mackshane! By St Paatrick, dat is my luckiest part of our adventure; he shall marry naame shure enough!
(Aside. you, and pimp for me.
Aim. I fancy, Archer, you have it. Aim. But I should not like a woman that can Foig. The devil hang you, joy----By fat acbe so fond of a Frenchman.
quaintance are you my cussen? Arch. Alas, sir, necessity has no law; the la- Arch. O, de devil hang yourshelf, joy; you dy may be in distress. But, if the plot lies as I know we were little boys togeder upon de school, suspect- I must put on the gentleman. But and your foster-moder's son was married upon here comes the doctor, I shall be ready. my nurse's shister, joy; and so we are Irish cus
(Erit ARCHER. sens. Vol. II.
Foig. De devil take de relation ! Vel, joy, and break in, and tells us the plate stands in the fat school was it?
wainscot cupboard in the parlour. Arch. I think it was -Aay--Twas Tip- Bon. Ay, ay, Mr Bagshot, as the saying is, perary.
knives and forks, cups and cans, tumblers and Foig. Now, upon my shoul, joy, 'twas Kil- tankards- -There's one tankard, as the saying kenny.
is, that's near upon as big as me; it was a preAim. That's enough for us -Self-confession sent to the squire from his god-mother, and
-Come, sir, we must deliver you into the smells of nutmeg and toast like an East India hands of the next magistrate.
ship. Arch. He sends you to goal, you're tried next Houns. Then you say we must divide at the assizes, and away you go swing into purga- stair head. tory.
Bon. Yes, Mr Hounslow, as the saying isFoig. And is it so wid you, cussen?
At one end of the gallery lies my lady Bountiful Arch. It vil be so vid you, cussen, if you don't and her daughter; and, at the other, Mrs Sulimmediately confess the secret between you and len-As for the squireMrs Gipsey-Look'e, sir, the gallows or the Gib. He's safe enough ; I have fairly entered secret, take
him, and he's more than half seas over already Foig. The gallows! Upon my shoul, I hate -But such a parcel of scoundrels are got that shame gallows, for it is a diseashe dat is fa- about him there, that, e'gad, I was ashamed to be tal to our family— Vel, den, dere is noting, shen- seen in their company, tlemens, but Mrs Sullen would speak wid de count Bon. 'Tis now twelve, as the saying is–Genin her chamber at midnight, and dere is no harm, tlemen, you must set out at one. joy, for I am to conduct the count to the plaash Gib. Hounslow, do you and Bagshot see our myself.
arms fixed, and I'll come to you presently. Arch. As I guessed-Have you communica- Houns. & Bag. We will.
[Ereunt. ted the matter to the count?
Gib. Well, my dear Bonny, you assure me Foig. I have not sheen him since.
that Scrub is a coward? Arch. Right again; why then, doctor,-you Bon. A chicken, as the saying is You'll shall conduct me to the lady, instead of the have no crcature to deal with but the ladies. count.
Gib. And I can assure you, friend, there's a Foig. Fat, my cussen to the lady! Upon my great deal of address and good-manners in robshoul, gra, dat's too much upon the brogue. bing a lady; I am the most a gentleman that
Arch. Come, come, doctor; consider we have way that ever travelled the road— But, my dear got a rope about your neck, and if you offer to Bonny, this prize will be a galleon, a Vigo busisqueak, we'll stop your wind-pipe, most certain- ness-- -I warrant you we shall bring off three or ly; we shall have another job for you in a day four thousand pound. or two, I hope.
Bon. In plate, jewels, and money, as the sayAim. Here's company coming this way; let's ing is, you may. into my chamber, and there concert our affairs Gib. Why then, Tyburn, I defy thee! I'll get farther.
up to town, sell off my horse and arms, buy my. Arch. Come, my dear cussen, come along. self some pretty employment in the law, and be Foig. Arra, the devil taake our relashion. as snug and as honest as 'e'er a long gown of 'em
Bon. And what think you, then, of my daughEnter Boniface, Hounslow, and Bagsuot, at
ter Cherry for a wife? one door, GIBBET at the opposite.
Gib. Look’e, my dear Bonny-Cherry is the
goddess I adore, as the song goes; but it is a Gib. Well, gentlemen, 'tis a fine night for our maxim, that man and wife should never bare enterprize.
it in their power to hang one another; for, if Houns. Dark as hell.
they should, the Lord have mercy upon them Bag. And blows like the devil; our landlord both! here has shew'd us the window where we must
SCENE I.—Continues. Knocking without. there be that dare wade deep enough to find the
bottom on't. Besides, sir, I'm afraid the line of Enter BONIFACE.
your understanding mayn't be long enough. Bon. Coming, coming ! A coach, and six Sul. Look'e, sir, I have nothing to say to your foaming horses at this time o'night! Some great sea of truth; but if a good parcel of land can man, as the saying is, for he scorns to travel with entitle a man to a little truth, I have as much as other people.
any he in the county.
Bon. I never heard your worship, as the sayEnter Sir CHARLES FREEMAN.
ing is, talk so much before. Sir Cha. What, fellow! a public house, and Sul. Because I never met with a man that I a-bed when other people sleep!
liked before. Bon. Sir, I an't a-bed, as the saying is.
Bon. Pray, sir, as the saying is, let me ask you Sir Cha. I see that, as the saying is ! Is Mr one question: Are not man and wife one flesh? Sullen's family a-bed, think’e?
Sir Cha. You and your wife, Mr Guts, may be Bon. All but the 'squire himself, sir, as the one flesh, because you are nothing else--But ra saying is; he's in the house.
tional creatures have minds that must be united Sir Cha. What company has he?
Sul. Minds! Bon. Why, sir, there's the constable, Mr Gage, Sir Cha. Ay, minds, sir. Don't you think that the exciseman, the hunch-back'd barber, and two the mind takes place of the body? or three other gentlemen.
Sul. In some people. Sir Cha. I find my sister's letters gave me the Sir Cha. Then, the interest of the master must true picture of her spouse.
be consulted before that of the servant.
Sul. Sir, you shall dine with ine to-morrow.Enter SULLEN, drunk.
Oons, I always thought we were naturally one. Bon. Sir, here's the 'squire.
Sir Cha. Sir, I know that my two hands are Sul. The puppies left me asleep-sir. naturally one, because they love one another, kiss Sir Cha. Well, sir.
one another, help one another in all the actions Sul. Sir, I am an unfortunate man-I have of life; but I could not say so much if they were three thousand pounds a-year, and can't get a always at cuffs. man to drink a cup of ale with me.
Sul. Then 'tis plain that we are two. Sir Cha. That's very hard.
Sir Cha. Why don't you part with her, sir? Sul. Ay, sir–And unless you have pity, upon Sul. Will you take her, sir? me, and smoke a pipe with me, I must e'en go Sir Cha. With all my heart. home to my wife, and I had rather go to the de- Sul. You shall have her to-morrow morning, vil by half.
and a venison pasty into the bargain. Sir Cha. But I presume, sir, you won't see Sir Cha. You'll let me have her fortune, too? your wife to-night, she'll be gone to bed
Sul. Fortune! why, sir, I have no quarrel to don't use to lie with your wife in that pickle?
her fortune-I hate only the woman, sir ; and Sul. What! not lie with my wife! why, sir, none but the woman shall go. do you take me for an atheist, or a rake?
Sir Cha. But her fortune, sirSir Cha. If you hate her, sir, I think you had Sul. Can you play at whist, sir? better lie from her.
Sir Cha. No, truly, sir. Sul. I think so, too, friend-But I am a jus- Sul. Not at all-fours? tice of peace, and must do nothing against the Sir Cha. Neither. law.
Sul. Oons! where was this man bred ? [Aside.] Sir Cha. Law! As I take it, Mr Justice, no- Burn me, sir, I can't go home; 'tis but two o'. body observes law for law's sake, only for the clock. good of those for whom it was made.
Sir Cha. For half an hour, sir, if you pleaseSul. But if the law orders me to send you to But you must consider 'tis late. gaol, you must lie there, my friend.
Sul. Late! that's the reason I can't go to bed Sir Cha. Not unless I commit a crime to de- -Come, sir
[Ereunt. serve it. Sul. A crime? Oons, an't I married ?
Enter CHERRY, runs across the stage, and knocks Sir Cha. Nay, sir, if you call marriage a crime, at Aimwell's chamber-door. Enter Aimyou must disown it for a law.
WELL, in his night-cap and gown. Sul. Eh !-I must be acquainted with you, sir-But, sir, I should be very glad to know Aim. What's the matter? You tremble, child; the truth of this matter.
you're frighted. Sir Cha. Truth, sir, is a profound sea; and few Cher. No wonder, sir; but, in short, sir, this
very minute a gang of rogues are gone to rob my Arch. From the skies, madam—I'm a Jupilady Bountiful's house.
ter in love, and you shall be my Alcmena. Aim. How!
Mrs Sul. How came you in? Cher. I dogged them to the very door, and Arch. I flew in at the window, madam; your left them breaking in.
cousin Cupid lent me his wings, and your sister Aim. Have you alarmed any body else with Venus opened the casement. the news.
Mrs Sul. I'm struck dumb with admiration. Cher. No, no, sir; I wanted to have discove- Arch. And I with wonder. [Looks passionate red the whole plot, and twenty other things, to ly at her.j How beautiful she looks! the teem your man Martin; but I have searched the ing jolly spring smiles in her blooming face; and whole house, and can't find him; where is he? when she was conceived, her mother smelt to
Aim. No matter, child; will you guide me im- roses, looked on lillies, mediately to the house?
Cher. With all my heart, sir; my lady Boun- Lillies unfold their white, their fragrant charms, tiful is my god-mother, and I love Mrs Dorinda When the warm sun thus darts into their arms. So well
[Runs to her. Aim. Dorinda! the name inspires me; the Mrs Sul. Ah!
[Shrieks. glory and the danger shall be all my own. Come, Arch. Oons, madam, what do you mean?my life, let me but get my sword. [Ereunt. You'll raise the house.
Mrs Sul. Sir, I'll wake the dead before I'll
bear this. SCENE II.--Changes to the bed-chamber in
What! approach me with the freeLADY BOUNTIFUL's house.
dom of a keeper? I am glad on't. Your impu
dence has cured me. Enter MRS SULLEn and DORINDA, undressed ;
Arch. If this be impudence, [Kneels. I leave a table and lights.
to your partial self; no panting pilgrim, after a
tedious, painful voyage, e'er bowed before his Dor. 'Tis very late, sister; no news of your saint with more devotion.
Mrs Şul. Now, now, I'm ruined if he kneels. Mrs Sul. No, I'm condemned to be alone till [ Aside.) Rise, thou prostrate engineer; not all towards tour, and then, perhaps, I may be execu- thy undermining skill shall reach my heart.ted with his company.
Rise, and know I am a woman without my sex; Dor. Well, my dear, I'll leave you to your I can love to the tenderness of wishes, sighs, rest; you'll go directly to bed, I suppose ? and tears -But go no farther-Still to con
Mrs Sul. I don't know what to do; hey-ho! vince you that I'm more than woman, I can Dor. That's a desiring sigh, sister.
speak my frailty, confess my weakness, even for Mrs Sul. This is a languishing hour, sister.
Dor. And might prove a critical minute, if Arch. For me! [Going to lay hold on her. the pretty fellow were here.
Mrs Sul. Hold, sir; build not upon that, Mrs Sul. Here! what, in my bed-chamber, at for my most mortal hatred follows, if you disetwo o'clock in the morning, I undressed, the fa- bey what I coinmand you now leave me this mily asleep, my hated husband abroad, and my minute-if he denies, I'm lost, lovely fellow at my feet?- -O gad, sister!
(Asido Dor. Thoughts are free, sister, and them I Arch. Then you'll promise allow you. So, my dear, good-night. [Erit. Mrs Sul Any thing another time.
Mrs Sul. A good rest to my dear Dorinda- Arch. When shall I come? Thoughts are free! they are so? Why, then, Mrs Sul. To-morrow; when you will. suppose him bere, dressed like a youthful, gay, Arch. Your lips must seal the promise. and burning bridegroom, [Here Archer steals Mrs Sul. Pshaw ! out of the closet.] with tongue enchanting, eyes Arch. They must, they must. [Kisses her... bewitching, knees imploring. [Turns a little on Raptures, and paradise ! And why not now, my one side, and sees Archer in the posture she de- angel? The time, the place, silence and secrecy, scribes.] Ah! (Shrieks, and runs to the other all conspire-And, now, the conscious stars have side of the stage.] Have my thoughts raised a pre-ordained this moment for my happiness. spirit? What are you, sir, a man or a devil?
[Takes her in his arms. Arch. A man, a man, madam ! (Rising
Mrs Sul. You will not, cannot, sure. Mrs Sul. How shall I be sure of it?
Arch. If the sun rides fast, and disappoints Arch. Madam, I'll give you demonstration not mortals of to-morrow's dawn, this night shall this ninute.
[Takes her hand. crown my joys. Mrs Sul. What, sir, do you intend to be rude? Mrs Sul. You shall kill me first, Arch. Yes, madam, if you please.
Arch. I'll die with you. Mrs Sul. In the name of wonder, whence
[Carrying her of tame yer
Mrs Sul. Thieves ! thicves! murder