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and air charmed my eyes, your wit and complai-) expects I should comfort her; and, to do her sance my soul, and from that fatal night I loved justice, she has said enough to encourage me. you.
[Drawing back. Turns about.] Ha! gone! the devil! jilted!
Why, what a tale has she invented of Paris, And when you left the place grief seized me so, balls, and birth-days ! Egad I'd give ten guineas Nor rest my heart nor sleep my eyes could know, to know who the gipsey is -A curse of my follyLast I resolved a hazardous point to try,
I deserve to lose her. What woman can forgive And quit the place in search of liberty. (Erit. a man that turns his back!
Sir Geo. Excellent!--I hope she's handsome The bold and resolute in love and war Well, now madam, to the two other things, your To conquer
take the right and swiftest way; name, and where you live-I am a gentleman, The boldest lover soonest gains the fair, and this confession will not be lost upon me As courage makes the rudest force obey : Nay, prithee, don't weep, but go on, for I find my Take no denial, and the dames adore ye; heart melts in thy behalf-Speak quickly, or I Closely pursue them, and they fall before ye. shall turn about Not yet-Poor lady! she
with my own money! Which way shall I get out of his hands.
Aside. Enter Sir FRANCIS Gripe and MIRANDA,
Sir Fran. Well, what art thou thinking, my Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha, ha!
girl, ha ? how to banter sir George! Mir. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Oh, I shall die Mir. I must not pretend to banter: he knows with laughing—the most romantic adventure- my tongue too well. [Aside.] No, Gardy, I have Ha, ha, ha! What does the odious young fop thought of a way will confound him more than mean? A hundred pieces to talk ten minutes with all I could say, if I should talk to him seven me! ha, ha, ba, ha!
years. Sir Fran. And I am to be by too; there's the Sir Fran. How's that? oh! I'm transported, jest! adad, if it had been in private, I should not I'm ravished, I'm mad !have cared to trust the young dog.
Mir. It would make you mad if you knew all: Mir. Indeed and indeed but you might, Gar- [Aside.] I'll not answer him a word, but be domb dy-Now, methinks, there's nobody handsomer to all he says. than you : so neat, so clean, so good-humoured, Sir Fran. Dumb! good; ha, ha, ha! Excel and so loving
lent! ha, ha, ha, ha! I think I have you now, Sir Fran. Pretty rogue, pretty rogue ! and so Sir George. Dumb! he'll go distracted--well, thou shalt find me, if thou dost prefer thy Gardy she's the wittiest rogue. Ha, ha, dumb! I can't before these caperers of the age : thou shalt out- but laugh, ha, ha! to think how damned mad shine the queen's box on an opera night; thou he'll be when he finds he has given his money shalt be the envy of the ring, (for I will carry away for a dumb show; ba, ha, ha! thee to Hyde-Park) and thy equipage shall sur- Mir. Nay, Gardy, if he did but know my pass the what d'ye call them, anbassadors. thoughts of him, it would make him ten times
Mir. Nay, I am sure the discreet part of my madder; ha, ha, ha, ha! sex will envy me more for the inside furniture, Sir Fran. Ay, so it would, Chargy, to hold him when you are in it, than my outside equipage. in such derision, to scoro to answer him, to be
Sir Fran. A cunning baggage i’faith thou art, dumb ! ha, ha, ha! and a wise one too! and, to shew thee that thou hast not chose amiss, I'll this moment disinherit
Enter CHARLES. my son, and settle my whole estate upon thee. Sir Fran. How pow, sirrah! who let you in?
Mir. There's an old rogue now! [Aside.] No, Cha. My vecessities, sir, Gardy, I would not have your name be so black Sir Fran. Your necessities are very imperti: in the world. You know my father's will runs, nent, and ought to have sent before they entered, that I am not to possess my estate, without your Cha. Sir, I knew 'twas a word would gain adconsent, till I am five-and-twenty; you shall only mittance nowhere. abate the odd seven years, and make me mistress Sir Fran. Then, sirrab, how durst you rudely of my estate to-day, and I'll make you master of thrust that upon your father, which nobody else my person to-morrow.
would admit? Sir Fran, Humph! that may not be safc- Cha, Sure the name of a son is a sufficient plea. No, Chargy, I'll settle it upon thee for pin-money, I ask this lady's pardon if I have intruded. and that will be every bit as well, thou know'st. Sir Fran. Ay, ay; ask her pardon and her bles Mir. Unconscionable old wretch! bribe me sing, too, if you expect any thing from ine.
Mir. I believe yours, Sir Francis, in a purse of Sir Fran. So! here's another extravagant coxguineas, would be more material. Your son may comb, that will spend his fortune before he comes have business with you; I'll retire.
to't; but he shall pay swinging interest, and so Sir Frun. I guess his business; but I'll dis- let the fool go on.—Well, what, does necessity patch him; I expect the knight every minute : bring you too, sir? you'll be in readiness?
Mar. You have hit it, guardian- I want a Mir. Certainly: my expectation is more upon hundred pounds. the wing than yours, old gentleman. (Aside. Exit. Sir Fran. For what? Sir Fran. 'Well, sir?
Mar. Pogh! for a hundred things I can't, Cha. Nay, it is very ill, sir; my circumstances for my life, tell you for what. are, I'm sure.
Cha. Sir, I suppose I have received all the anSir Fran. And what's that to me, sir ? your swer I am like to have. management should have made them better. Mar. Oh, the devil ! if he gets out before me,
Cha. If you please to entrust me with the ma- I shall lose him again. nagement of my estate, I shall endeavour it, sir. Sir Fran. Ay, sir; and you may be marching
Sir Fran. What, to set upon a card, and buy as soon as you please_I'must see a change in a lady's favour at the price of a thousand pieces; your temper, ere you find one in mine. to rig out an equipage for a wench, or, by your Mar. Pray, sir, dispatch me; the money, sir ; carelessness, to enrich your steward; to fine for I'm in mighty haste. sheriff, or put up for a parliament-man?
Sir Fran. Fool, take this, and go to the cashCha. I hope I should not spend it this way: ier. I sha'nt be long plagued with thee. however, I ask only for what my uncle left me;
[Gives him a note. yours you may dispose of as you please, sir. Mar. Devil take the cashier! I shall certain
Sir Fran. That I shall, out of your reach, I ly have Charles gone before I come back. assure you, sir. Adad, these young fellows think
(Runs out. old men get estates for nothing but them to Cha. Well, sir, I take my leave—but rememsquander away in dicing, wenching, drinking, ber, you expose an only son to all the miseries of dressing, and so forth!
wretched poverty, which too often lays the plan Cha. I think I was born a gentleman, sir; I'm for scenes of mischief. sure my uncle bred me like one.
Sir Fran. Stay, Charles; I have a sudden Sir Fran. From which you would infer, sir, thought come into my head, may prove to thy that gaming, whoring, and the pox, are requisites advantage. for a gentleman.
Cha. Ha! does he relent? Cha. Monstrous ! when I would ask him only Sir Fran. My Lady Wrinkle, worth forty thoufor a support, he falls into these unmannerly re- sand pounds, sets up for a handsome young husproaches. I must, though against my will, em- band; she praised thec t'other day; though the ploy invention, and, by stratagem, relieve myself. matchmakers can get twenty guineas for a sight
(Aside. of her, I can introduce thee for nothing. Sir Fran. Sirrah, what is it you mutter, sirrah? Cha. My lady Wrinkle, sir! why, she has but ha! (Holds up his cane.) I say you sha’nt have a groat out of my hands, till I please
Sir Fran. Then she'll see but half your extrabe I'll never please; and what's that to you?
vagance, sir. Cha. Nay, to be robbed, or have one's throat Cha. Condemn me to such a piece of defore cut, is not much
mity! a toothless, dirty, wry-necked, hunchSir Fran. What's that, sirrah? would you rob backed hag! me, or cut my throat, ye rogue?
Sir Fran. Hunch-backed! so much the better; Cha. Heaven forbid, sir !-I said no such then she has a rest for her misfortunes, for thou thing.
wilt load her swingingly. Now, I warrant, you Sir Fran. Mercy on me! what a plague it is think this is no offer of a father! forty thousand to have a son of one-and-twenty, who wants to pounds is nothing with you! elbow one out of one's life to edge himself into Cha. Yes, sir, I think it is too much; a young, the estate!
beautiful woman, with half the money, would be
more agreeable.—I thank you, sir; but you chuse Enter MARPLOT.
better for yourself, I find.
Sir Fran. Out of my doors, you dog! you preMar. Egad, he's here!—I was afraid I had lost tend to meddle with my marriage, sirrah! him: his secret could not be with his father; his Cha. Sir, I obey: butwants are public there.—Guardian, your servant Sir Fran. But me no buts-Begone, sir! dare - Charles, are you there? I know, by that sor- to ask me for money again- -refuse forty thourowful countenance of thine, the old gentleman's sand pounds! Out of my doors, I say, without refist is as close as his strong box---But I'll help ply! thee. [Apart.
[Erit CHA VOL. II.
Enter MARPLOT, running.
"Sir Geo. Shake off this tyrant guardian's yoke;
assume yourself, and dash his bold aspiring hopes. Mur. Ha! gone! is Charles gone, Gardy? The deity of his desires is avarice; a heretick in
Sir Fran. Yes, and I desire your wise worship love, and ought to be banished by the queen of to walk after him.
beauty. See, madam, a faithful servant kneels, Mar. Nay, egad I shall run; I tell you that. and begs to be admitted in the number of your A pox of the cashier for detaining me so long ! slaves. Where the devil shall I find him now! I shall MIRANDA gives him her hand to raise him. certainly lose this secret, and I had rather by Sir Fran. I wish I could hear what he says half lose my money
Where shall I find him [Running up.] Hold, hold, hold ! no palmnow?
-D'ye know where Charles is gone, ing; that's contrary to articlesGardy?
Sir Geo. 'Sdeath, sir, keep your distance, or I'll Sir Fran. Gone to the devil, and you may go write another article in your guts! after him.
[Lays his hand to his sword. Mar. Ay, that I will, as fast as I can. [Going, Sir Fran. [Going buck.) A bloody-minded felrelurns.] Ilave you any commands there, Gardy? | low!
Erit. Sir Geo. Not answer me! perhaps she thinks Sir Fran. What, is the fellow distracted? my address too grave: I'll be more free-Can
you be so unconscionable, madam, to let me say all Enter Servant.
these fine things to you without one single comSer. Sir George Airy inquires for you, sir. pliment in return? View me well; am I not a
Sir Fran. Desire sir George to walk up.- proper handsome fellow, ha ? can you prefer Now for a trial of skill, that will make me happy, that old, dry, withered, sapless log, of sixty-five, and him a fool. Ha, ha, ha! In my mind, he to the vigorous, gay, sprightly love of twentylooks like an ass already.
four? With snoring only he'll awake thee; but I,
with ravishing delight, would make thy senses Enter Sir GEORGE.
dance in concert with the joyful minutes-Ha! Well, sir George, do you hold in the same mind, not yet? Sure she's dumb Thus would I steal or would you capitulate? ha, ha, ha! Look, here and touch thy beauteous hand, (Takes hold of are the guineas; [Chinks them.] ha, ha, ha! her hand.] till, by degrees, I reach'd thy snowy
Sir Geo. Not if they were twice the sum, sir breasts, then ravish kisses thus. Francis; therefore be brief, call in the lady, and
[Embraces her with ecstacy.' take your post.
Mir. Struggles, and flings from him.] ON, Sir Fran. Agreed. Miranda! [Erit. heavens? I shall not be able to contain myself. Sir Geo. If she's a woman, and not seduced
(Aside. by witchcraft to this old rogue, I'll make his heart Sir Fran. [Running up with his watch in his ache; for if she has but one grain of inclination hand.] sure she did not speak to him—There's about her, I'll vary a thousand shapes but find it. five of the ten minutes gone, sir George-Adad,
I don't like those close conferences
Sir Geo. More interruptions !--you will have
[Lays his hand to his sword. Sir Fran. There, sir George; try your fortune. Sir Frun. (Going back.] No, no; you shan't [Takes out his watch. have her neither.
Aside. Sir Geo. So from the eastern chambers breaks Sir Geo. Dumb still!--sure this old dog has the sun, dispels the clouds, and gilds the vales enjoined her silence. I'll try another way-I below.
[Salutes her. must conclude, madam, that, in compliance to Sir Fran. Hold, sir; kissing was not in our your guardian's humour you refuse to answer me. agreement.
Consider the injustice of his injunction.—MaSir Geo. Oh! that's by way of prologue. Pr’y- dam, these few minutes cost ine a hundred thee, old Mammon, to thy post.
pounds—and would you answer me, I could purSir Fran. Well, young limon, 'tis now four chase the whole day so. However, madam, you exactly; ten minutes, remember, is your utmost must give me leave to make the best interpretalimit; not a minute more.
tion I can for my money, and take the indica(Retires to the bottom of the stage. tion of your silence for the secret liking of my Sir Geo. Madam, whether you'll excuse or person; therefore, madam, I will instruct you blame my love, the author of this rash proceed- how to keep your word inviolate to sir Francis, ing depends upon your pleasure, as also the life and yet answer me to every question : as, for of your admirer : your sparkling eyes speak a example, when I ask any thing to which you heart susceptible of love; your vivacity a soul would reply in the affirmative, gently nod your too delicate to admit the einbraces of decayed head—thus, [Nods.] and when in the negative, mortality.
thus, [Shakes his head.] and in the doubtful, a Mir. [Aside.] Oh! that I durst speak- tender sigh, thus, (Sighs.]
Mir. How every action charms me—but I'll fit | [Reads.] • Dear sir George! this virgin muse I him for signs, I warrant him.
[Aside. consecratc to you; which, when it has received Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! poor sir George! ha, the addition of your voice, 'twill charm me into ha, ha!
a desire of liberty to love, which you, and only Sir Geo. Was it by his desire that you are you, can fix. My angel ! oh, you transport me
! dumb, madam, to all I can say? (Miranda (Kisses the letter.) And see the power
your nods.] Very well ! she's tractable, I find-And command! the god of love has set the verse alis it possible that you can love him? [MIRANDA ready, the flowing numbers dance into a tune, nods.) Miraculous ! Pardon the bluntness of my and I'm inspired with a voice to sing it. questions; for my time is short. May I not Mir. I'm sure thou'rt inspired with impudence hope to supplant himn in your esteem? (MIRAN- enough.
[ Aside. Da sighs.] Good! she answers me as I could wish. - You'll not consent to marry him, then? (Mi
Sir Geo. Great love inspire him, RANDA sighs.] How! doubtful in that?-Undone
Say I admire him. again-Humph! but that may proceed from his
Give me the lover, power to keep her out of her estate till twenty
That can discover hive: I'll try that-Come, madam, I cannot
Secret devotion think you hesitate in this affair out of any motive
From silent motion ; but your fortune-let him keep it tiil those few
Then don't betray me, years are expired; make me happy with your
But hence convey me. person, let him enjoy your wealth.-[MIRANDA [Sir Geo. taking hold of Miran.) With all my holds up her hands.) Why, what sign is that now? | heart; this inoment let's retire. Nay, nay, madam, except you observe my les
(Sir Fran. coming up hastily. son, I can't understand your meaning.
Sir Fran. The time is expired, sir, and you Sir Fran. What a vengeance ! are they talk- must take your leave. There, my girl, there's ing by signs? 'ad I may be fooled here. What the hundred pounds which thou hast won. Go, do you mean, sir George ?
I'll be with you presently. Ha, ha, ha, ha! Sir Geo. To cut your throat, if you dare mut
[Erit Miran. ter another syllable.
Sir Geo. Adsheart, madam ! you won't leave Sir Fran. 'Od I wish he were fairly out of me just in the nick, will you? my house!
Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! she has nicked you, sir Sir Geo. Pray, madain, will you answer me George, I think ; ha, ha, ha! Have you any more to the purpose : [MIRANDA shakes her head, and hundred pounds to throw away upon courtship? points to Sir Francis.] What does she mean? she ha, ha, ha! won't answer me to the purpose; or is she afraid Sir Geo. He, he, he, he! A curse of your yon old cuff should understand her signs ?-ay, fleering jests !-Yet, however ill I succeed, I'll it must be that. I perceive, madam, you are venture the saine wager she does not value thee too apprehensive of the promise you have made a spoonful of souff--nay, inore, though you ento follow my rules; therefore, I'll suppose your joined her silence to me, you'll never make her mind, and answer for you.-- First for myself, speak to the purpose with yourself. madam. That I am in love with you, is an infalli- Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! Did I not tell thee ble truth. Now for you. [Turns on her side.] thou wouldst repent thy money? Did I not say Indeed, sir! and may I believe it?A cer- she hated
fellows? ha, ha! tainly, madam, as that 'tis daylight, or that I die, Sir Geo. And I'm positive she's not in love if you persist in silence.— Bless me with the mu- with age. sic of your voice, and raise my spirits to their Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! no matter for that, ha, proper heaven. Thus low let me intreat, ere I'm ha! She's not taken with your youth, nor your obliged to quit this place; grant me some token rhetoric to boot; ha, ha! of a favourable reception to keep my bopes alive. Sir Geo. Whate'er her reasons are for disliking [-Arises hastily, turns on her side.] Rise, sir; and of me, I am certain she can be taken with nosince my guardian's presence will not allow me thing about thee. privilege of tongue, read that, and rest assured Sir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! how he swells with you are not indifferent to me. [Offers her a let-envy-Poor man! poor man!-ha, ha, ha! I ter, she strikes it down.] Ha, right woman! but must beg your pardon, sir George; Miranda will no matter; I'll go on.
be impatient to have her share of mirth. Verily, Sir Fran. Ha! what's that? a letter !- -Ha, we shall laugh at thee most egregiously; ha, ha, ha, ha! thou art baulked.
ha! Mir. The best assurance I ever saw
Sir Geo. With all my heart, faith!- -I shall
[Aside. laugh in my turn, too !—for, if you dare marry Sir Geo. Ha! a letter! oh! let me kiss it her, old Belzebub, you will be cuckolded most with the same raptures that I would do the dear egregiously: remember that, and tremblehand that touched it. (Opens it.] Now for a quick She that to age her beauteous self resigns, fancy, and a long extempore
-What's here? Shews witty management for closc designs ;
Then, if thou’rt graced with fair Miranda's bed, finement sharpens the invention, as want of sight Actæon's horns, she means, shall crown thy strengthens the other senses, and is often more head.
[Exit Sir Geo. pernicious than the recreation that innocent liSir Fran. Ha, ha, ha! he is mad!
berty allows. These Auttering fops imagine they can wind, Sir Jeal. Say you so, mistress! who the devil Turn and decoy to love all womankind; taught you the art of reasoning? I assure you, But here's a proof of wisdom in my charge, they must have a greater faith than I pretend to, Old men are constant, young men live at large. that can think any woman innocent who requires The frugal hand can bills at sight defray, liberty; therefore, Patch, to your charge I give When he that lavish is has naught to pay. her ; lock her up till I come back from Change.
[Exit Sir Fran. I shall have some sauntering coxcomb, with no
thing but a red coat and a feather, think by leapSCENE II.—Changes to Sir Jealous TRAF-ing into her arms to leap into my estate—but I'll FICK's house.
prevent them; she shall be only signior Babi
netto's. Enter Str Jealous, ISABINDA, and Patch fol
Patch. Really, sir, I wish you would employ lowing
any body else in this affair; I lead a life like a
dog with obeying your commands. Come, maSir Jeal. What, in the balcony again, notwith- dam, will you please to be locked up? standing my positive commands to the contrary? Isa. Aye, to enjoy more freedom than he is - Why don't you write a bill on your forehead to aware of. [Aside.)
[Erit with Patch. shew passengers there's something to be let?-- Sir Jeal. I believe this wench is very true to
Isa. What harm can there be in a little fresh my interest: I am happy I met with her, if I air, sir?
can but keep my daughter from being blown upSir Jeal. Is your constitution so hot, mistress, on till Signior Babinetto arrives, who shall marry that it wants cooling, ha? Apply the virtuous her as soon as he comes, and carry her to Spain Spanish rules; banish your taste and thoughts of as soon as he has married her. She has a pregflesh; feed upon roots, and quench your thirst nant wit, and I'd no more have her an English with water.
wife than the Grand Signior's mistress. [Exit. Isa. That and a close room would certainly make me die of the vapours.
Enter WHISPER. Sir Jeal. No, mistress ; 'tis your high-fed, Whis. So, I saw sir Jealous go out: where lusty, rambling, rampant ladies—that are trou- shall I find Mrs Patch now? bled with the vapours : 'tis your ratafia, persico, cinnamon, citron, and spirit of clara, cause such
Enter Patch. swimming in the brain, that carries many a guinea Patch. Oh, Mr Whisper ! my lady saw you full tide to the doctor : but you are not to be out of the window, and ordered me to bid you bred this way: no galloping abroad, no receiving fly, and let your master know she's now alone. visits at home; for in our loose country the wo- Whisp. Hush! speak softly! I go, I go ! But inen are as dangerous as the men.
hark ye, Mrs Patch, shall not you and I have a Patch. So I told her, sir, and that it was not little confabulation, when my master and your decent to be seen in a balcony—but she threaten- lady are engaged? ed to slap my chops, and told me I was her ser- Patch. Aye, aye; farewell. vant, not her governess.
[Goes in, and shuts the door. Sir Jeal. Did she so ? but I'll make her to know that you are her duenna. O that incom
Re-enter Sir JEALOUS TRAFFICK, meeting
WHISPER. parable custom of Spain! Why, here's no depending upon old wonen in my country, for they Sir Jeal. Sure, whilst I was talking with Mr are as wanton at eighty, as a girl of eighteen; Tradewell
, I beard my door clap. (Seeing Wrisand a man may as safely trust to Asgil's transla- per.) Ha! a man lurking about my house ! tion, as to his great grandmother's not marrying Who do you want there, sir? again.
Whisp. Want-want? a pox! Sir Jealous ! Isa. Or to the Spanish ladies' veils and duennas What must I say now? for the safeguard of their honour.
Sir Jeal. Ay, want! Have you a letter or mesSir Jeal. Dare to ridicule the cautious conduct sage for any body there? Omy conscience this of that wise nation, and I'll have you locked up is some he-bawdthis fortnight, without a peep-hole.
Whisp. Letter or message, sir? Isa. If we had but the ghostly helps in Eng- Sir Jeal. Ay, letter or message, sir? land which they have in Spain, I might deceive Whisp. No, not I, sir. you if you did Sir, 'tis not the restraint, but Sir Jeal. Sirrah, sirrah! I'll have you set in the innate principle, secures the reputation and the stocks, if you don't tell your business imnehonour of our sex.- -Let me tell you, sir, con- diately.