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that social felicity, that sway of reason, that emancipation from error, of which they eternally prate, as the fruit of their doctrines! Accept those doctrines, and the whole world falls back into a frightful chaos; and all the relations of life are confounded; and all ideas of vice and virtue are reversed; and the most inviolable laws of society vanish; and all moral discipline is discredited.

7. Accept those doctrines, and the government of states and nations has no longer any cem'ent to uphold it; and all the harmony of the body politic becomes discord; and the human race is no more than an assemblage of reckless barbarians, shameless, remorseless, brutal, denaturalized, with no other law than force, no other check than passion, no other bond than irreligion, no other God than self. Such would be the world which impiety would make! Such would be this world, were a belief in God and immortality to die out of the human heart!

From the French of MASSILLON. (1717-1742.

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COMPASS (kum'pass), n., space; an | VoY'AGE, n., a journey by sea.

instrument by which ships are steered.

CAN'VASS, v. i., to solicit votes.

PATTEN, n., a sort of shoe.

SUP'PLI-ANT, n., a humble petitioner.
FRIV'O-LOUS, a., slight; vain.

SURGEON, n., one who cures by the Mo-MENT'OUS, a., important.

hand or by instruments.

EP'OCH (ep'ok or e'pok), n., era; date.

MA-RINE (-reen), a., belonging to

the sea.

The au in haunt has the sound of a in far. In gov'ern-or, in'ter-est, ex'er-cise, heed the sound of er; in town and count'er, the sound of ou.

1. THE DULL RAZOR. "Does this razor go easy?"

asked a

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abarber of his customer, who was writhing under a clumsy instrument, the chief recommendationcom w of which was a strong handle. "Well," replied the

poor fellow, "that depends upon what you call this opera ation. If you're skinning me, the razor goes tolerably que easy; but if you're shaving me, it goes rather hard." "Does n't it take hold?" asked the barber."Yes,

it takes hold, but it won't let go," replied the victim.

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2. How To RUIN YOUR HEALTH. A humorous comitat writer gives the following rules for ruining health: Stop in bed late. Eat hot. Eat hot. suppers. Turn day into night, and night into day. Take no exercise. Always ride when you can walk. Never mind about wet feet. Have half a dozen doctors. Take all the medicine they give you. Try every new quack. If that doesn't kill you, quack yourself.

3. CARRYING A JOKE TOO FAR. - A fellow stole a saw, and on his trial told the judge that he only took it in joke. "How far did you carry it?" inquired the judge." Two miles," answered the prisoner.-"Ah! that's carrying a joke too far!" said the judge; and the prisoner was sentenced to hard labor, in the House of Correction, for three months.

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4. Too OFFICIOUS. "Your house is on fire!" exclaimed a stranger, rushing into the parlor of a pomp

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ous and formal citizen.-"Well, sir," replied the latter, "to what cause am I indebted for the extraordinary s interest which you seem to take in the affairs of my house?"

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5. MAKING THE BEST OF THINGS. “I have told you," says Southey, "of the Spaniard who always put on spectacles when about to eat cherries, in order that the fruit might look larger and more tempting. In like manner I make the most of my enjoyments; and though I do not cast my eyes away from my troubles, I pack them in as small a compass as I can for myself, and never let them annoy others."

6. FATE OF IDLERS. The man who did not think it was respectable to bring up his children to work

begyu

has just heard from his three sons.

One of them is a

driver on a canal; another has been taken up as a
vagrant; and the third has gone to a certain public
institution, to learn to hammer stone, under a keeper.
reprogting
7. REBUKING ARROGANCE.
ARROGANCE.

heddcanvassing for the office of
omew Hospital, in London,

When Abernethy was
docters
surgeon to St. Barthol-
he called upon a rich

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grocer, one of the governors. The great man behind

the counter, seeing the poor surgeon enter, immedi-
ately assumed the grand air toward the supposed sup-behin
pliant for his vote, and said: "I presume, sir, you

want my vote and interest at this momentous epoch dat
of your life." Abernethy, who hated humbugs, and

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felt nettled at the tone, replied, "No, I don't; I want
a pennyworth of figs. Come, look sharp, and wrap
them up; I want to be off!"

off!"rect

8. OPPOSITION TO REFORM.-"I do not mean,”—said
the Rev. Sydney Smith, at a meeting on the Reform
Bill,-"I do not mean to be disrespectful; but the
attempt of the Lords to stop the progress of reform,
the great storm of Sid-
mouth, and of the conduct of the excellent Mrs. Part-
ington on that occasion. In the winter of 1824, there
set in a great flood upon that town; the tide rose to
an incredible height; the waves rushed in upon the
houses, and every thing was threatened with destruc-
tion.
lofty

reminds me very forcible

"In the midst of this sublime and terrible storm, Dame Partington, who lived upon the beach, was seen at the door of her house, with mop and pattens, trundling the mop, squeezing out the sea-water, and vigorously pushing away the Atlantic Ocean. The Atlantic was roused. Mrs. Partington's spirit was up; but I need not tell you that the contest was unequal. The Atlantic Ocean beat Mrs. Partington. She was excellent at a slop or a puddle, but she should not have

meddled with a tempest.

ease; be quiet and steady. ington."

Gentlemen, be at your
You will beat Mrs. Part-

9. MURDERING A TUNE. - Foote once asked a man without a sense of a tune in him, "Why are you forever humming that tune?"-"Because it "Because it haunts me me," was the reply." No wonder," said Foote; "you are forever murdering it."

10. THE QUAKER'S RETORT. --A Quaker and a hotheaded youth were, on a recent occasion, quarreling in the street. The man with the broad-brimmed hat kept his temper most equably, which seemed but to increase the anger of the other. "Fellow," said the latter, with an oath, "I don't know a bigger fool than you are." "Stop, friend," replied the Quaker, "thou dost forget thyself."

11. ON EARLY RISING.-Said Lord Chatham to his son: "I would inscribe on the curtains of your bed, and the walls of your chamber, If you do not rise early, you can make progress in nothing. If you do not set apart your hours of reading, if you suffer your self or any one else to break in upon them, your days will slip through your hands unprofitable and frivo- › lous, and unenjoyed by yourself.""

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12. A STUPID QUESTION. - Professor Porson, being once at a dinner party, where the conversation turned upon Captain Cook and his celebrated voyages round the world, an ignorant young man, in order to contrib ute his mite toward the general conversation, asked decocter the professor, thoughtlessly, "Pray, sir, was Cook killed on his first voyage?"-"I believe he was," answered Porson, "though he does not seem to have minded it much; for he immediately entered on a second."

13. THE JUDGE AND THE LAWYER. On a certain occasion, when pleading a cause at the bar, Lawyer court

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Brooks observed to Judge Rice, that he would conclude his remarks on the following day, unless the Court would consent to set late enough for him to finish them that evening. Sit, sir," said the judge; "not set hens set.""I stand corrected, sir," replied the lawyer, bowing. Not long after, the judge, while giving an opinion in a marine case, asked, in regard to a certain ship, "At what wharf does she lay 2""Lie, may it please your honor," exclaimed Mr. Brooks; "not lay: hens lay."

XLVII. — THE DYING TRUMPETER.

FIELD-MAR'SHAL, n.,

of an army.

the commander | VIC-TOʻRIA, n., a Latin word, meaning

.victory.

The ew in news has the y sound of long u. Pronounce wound, woond.

UPON the field of battle

The dying trumpeter lay, ne
And from his side the life-blood
Was streaming fast away.

His deadly wound is burning,
And yet he can not die
Till his company returning
Bring news of victory.

staggering

Hark! as he rises reeling

Upon the bloody ground,
Hark! o'er the field is pealing
A well-known trumpet's sound.

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It gives him life and vigor; one!
He grasps his horse's mane;
He mounts, and lifts his trumpet
To his dying lips again.

And all his strength he gathers
To hold it in his hand,

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