figure coming down the terrace steps. must be my morbid fancy; still, if I in case (Aloud.) D-don't you little-er-monotonous after a time? It's horribly like But that can get Lady MAISIE away, just think sitting still becomes a Couldn't we [He rises, spasmodically. Lady Maisie (rising too). Certainly; we have sat here quite long enough. It is time we went back. Und. (to himself). We shall meet her! and I'm almost sure it's- I must prevent any (Aloud.) Not back, Lady MAISIE! You-you promised to show me the orchid-house-you did, indeed! Lady Maisie. Very well; we can go in, if you care about orchids. It's on our way back. Und. (to himself). This is too awful! It is that girl PHILLIPSON. She is looking for somebody! Me! (Aloud.) On second thoughts, I don't think I do care to see the orchids. I detest them; they are weird unnatural extravagant things. Let us turn back and see if there are any snowdrops on the lawn behind that hedge. I love the snowdrop, it is so trustful and innocent, with its pure greenveined- Do come and search for snowdrops! Lady Maisie. Not just now. I think (as she shields her eyes with one hand)-I'm not quite sure yet-but I rather fancy that must be my maid at the other end of the walk. Und. (eagerly). I assure you, Lady MAISIE, you are quite mistaken. Not the least like her! Lady Maisie (astonished). Why, how can you possibly tell that, without having seen her, Mr. BLAIR? Und. I-I meant- You described her as "pretty," you know. This girl is plain-distinctly plain! Lady Maisie. I don't agree at all. However, it certainly is PHILLIPSON, and she seems to have come out in search of me; so I had better see if she has any message. Und. She hasn't. I'm positive she hasn't. She she wouldn't walk like that if she had. (In feverish anxiety.) Lady MAISIE, shall Lady Maisie. Really, Mr. BLAIR! I don't quite see why I should run away from my own maid! . . . What is it, PHILLIPSON ? [She adrances to meet PHILLIPSON, leaving UNDERSHELL behind, we turn back? She-she hasn't seen us yet! nises me. motionless. Und. (to himself). It's all over! That confounded girl recogI saw her face change! She'll be jealous, I know she 'll be jealous-and then she'll tell Lady MAISIE everything!... I wish to Heaven I could hear what she is saying. Lady MAISIE seems agitated.... I—I might stroll gently on and leave them; but it would look too like running away, perhaps. No, I'll stay here and face it out, like a man! I won't give up just yet. (He sinks limply upon the bench.) After all, I've been in worse holes than this since I came into this infernal place, and I've always managed to scramble out-triumphantly, too! If she will only give me five minutes alone, I know I can clear myself; it isn't as if I had done anything to be ashamed of.... She's sent away that girl. She seems to be expecting me to come to her. . . . I-I suppose I'd better. [He rises with effort, and goes towards Lady MAISIE with a jaunty unconsciousness that somehow has the air of stopping short just above the knees. COUNTING NOSES. BETWEEN nose and nose a strange contest arose Concerning the smells from a brewery. [their foes Some thought them like Eau de Cologne, whilst Denounced them as sickly and sewery. [Cologne, "Twixt the Rhine, which (see COLERIDGE) washes And that sweet" Cologne water" that scents it, How now shall the difference truly be known? [resents it! Strange comparison! Reason Oh! what is an odour, and what is a "stink"? [dub it.) (As the outspoken schoolboy will If man's nose is asked to decide, well, I think, In puzzlement pure man must- If the fragrance of "grains" will to some suggest drains, OUR BOOKING-OFFICE. SOME people are disposed to deny to Mr. GLADSTONE a sense of the fact that the late PREMIER made the author of Work and Wages humour. They will surely reconsider their judgment in view of (LONGMANS) a Lord-in-waiting to the QUEEN. The volume contains in handy form a series of addresses and papers spoken and written by Lord BRASSEY during the last quarter of a century. They disclose profound knowledge, not only of the principles that underlie the connection between Work and Wages, but of the everyday practices that sometimes control it. Throughout, the book is marked by a broad spirit and statesmanlike view which, if more common, would make strikes much more uncommon. As Mr. GEORGE HOWELL in his introduction points out, when in 1869 the young Commons on the subject of Trade Unions there were very few members member for Hastings (not yet Lord BRASSEY) addressed the House of who knew anything about the subject, except that they did not like of the day, had the breadth of mind to recognise the right of industrial it. Mr. BRASSEY, the son of one of the greatest employers of labour organisation representing labour, and lived to see the ban against trades unions removed by the House of Commons. The book is, my Baronite says, the most valuable contribution to the intricate able work for an ex-lord-in-waiting. We shall next hear of Mr. question discussed of any recently published. Truly a most remark"BOBBY" SPENCER coming out with a treatise on the Solar Parallax. "With delight," writes a young Baronite, "the ordinary schoolboy turns from even Old Esor's words of wisdom to the ever-blissful fascinations of cowboys, Red Indians, and all the untrammelled pleasures of ranch life which are to be met with in following The Great Cattle Trail, by EDWARD S. ELLIS (CASSELL & Co.); and certainly life appears very, so very interesting, when you can be a hero with Buffalo Bill effect." Five Stars in a Little Pool, by EDITH CARRINGTON (CASSELL & Co.), suggests lives and billiards, but that is the wrong cue to give, except that it is five little stories in black on white, "red" is added when you've finished the book. 66 CASSELL & Co. evidently, or, says a Baronite fresh from school, Ovidently" put a new construction on "Ars est celare Artem," for in their Magazine of Art it is clearly shown not only what Art does but how it does it. The etchings and photogravures are charming. There is a capital article on stage costumes, and among them is found the original idea out of which the fashionable Serpentine dance was twirlingly evolved. 46 66 Most little people will be much amused by the waggish tale of Toby, by ASCOTT R. HOPE. He is not of course Mr. Punch's Toby," cela va sans dire. There cannot be two Tobies. It is Toby or not Toby," and there is no " question" about it. This Toby, to whom the Toby never stood godfather, gives us the benefit of his amusing opinions. He is brought out by INNES (& Co.), and is one of the daintiest dogs in the Dainty Book Series. So much for Toby. Any who read the first series of Eighteenth Century Vignettes, by AUSTIN DOBSON, will eagerly welcome a second series issued by the same publishers, Messrs. CHATTO AND WINDUS. Of all writers at work to-day, Mr. AUSTIN DOBSON is most profoundly steeped in the literary essence of the Eighteenth Century, and is most successful in reproducing its flavour. In writing about SWIFT, RICHARDSON, Dr. JOHNSON, or the topography of HUMPHREY CLINKER (a learned, yet most mellow disquisition), he does not condescend to the easilyacquired trick of introducing archaic words, or inverting sections of phrases with which we are familiar in the works of some other artists on the same broad pavement. Yet, withal, there is in the literary style of these pleasant chats round about the old writers, booksellers and bookbuyers, a certain distinct Eighteenth Century flavour. So intimate is Mr. DOBSON with the ways, the personal appearance, the dress, the daily environment, and the little gestures of the more or less mighty dead, that he is able to recall them to startlingly vivid life. His picture of SWIFT writing to STELLA from his bed in the back room of a first floor in Bury Street, St. James's, is NEW DIRECTOR TO ROYAL COLLEGE OF MUSIC.-" Who would succeed Sir GEORGE GROVE?" that was the question. The answer to the inquiry was, "Who but PARRY?" Whereupon HUBERT PARRY was appointed. Now, all music at the College, of whatever a masterpiece of live portraiture. nationality, will be taught à la mode de Parry. THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS. ["Several Russian newspapers publish articles declaring that an Anglo-Russian understanding would be of enormous advantage to the respective interests of the two nations, besides promoting European peace."-Times.] Spoken. Russian Bear (with effusion). Now this is really delightful! British Lion (cordially). Most charming, I'm sure! R. Bear. What I've longed for for ages! B. Lion. What I've wished for centuries! R. Bear. Strange how long we have been separated by pure prejudice! B. Lion. Though our respective dens are 80 conveniently situated for mutual calls, and genial interchange of love and liquor! R. Bear. Why, I like you immensely, now I see you near. B. Lion. And I'm enormously taken with you, at close quarters. R. Bear. You have little of the Lion but its magnanimous courage. B. Lion. And you have nothing of the Bear but its skin. R. Bear. The kind things you have been saying about me lately have quite touched me. B. Lion. Don't mention it. You deserved 'em all. Delighted to render any little civilities to a near neighbour, especially in time of trouble. R. Bear (much moved). A thousand thanks! Leo! Let me embrace you. No longer afraid of my hug, are you? B. Lion. Not a bit of it! Oh! this is something like a "Russian Advance!!!" " R. Bear. And this is indeed a right "British Greeting!!!" B. Lion (aside). Wonder what the Gallic Chanticleer thinks of this! R. Bear (aside). Fancy the Teutonic Eagle eyes us a leetle jealously. B. Lion (aloud). Well, let us meet often, Bruin, and talk things over amicably. Miss Roland. "Two HANSOMS, PLEASE!" 1st Singer (crescendo). A-a-a-a-a-bove! 2nd Singer (diminuendo). R. Bear (aloud). We will, Leo, we will. Ah! what a pity we didn't know each other before! B. Lion. Yes, indeed. However, All's well that ends well! R. Bear. "All's Well!" Ah! Cue for song! Let us warble! They sing : Converted (rather late than soon), Stranger quickly tell, "The word!" "Comrades!" "ALL'S WELL!" Be-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-Low!! Tutti (fortissimo). A-A-A-A-LL'S WELL!.! ["So mote it be!" adds Mr. P.] OLLENDORFIAN. (Example of the Very Latest French Exercise.) Colonies of our neighbour are very productive. OUR neighbour has many Colonies. The Colonies? The cock is more valiant than the Why should we not have (some) productive lion. Let us send the Ambassador to the bad Queen. The bad Queen has pulled the nose of the Ambassador. She is very obstinate, but she is not very amiable. The soldiers, the sailors, the ships, the stores, and the ammunition will soon arrive. The island has a very good soil, but not a very good climate. Why have the soldiers and the sailors not yet marched to the capital? Because the soldiers and the sailors have all got the fever. Why have they got the fever? Because our neighbour is wicked. Does it rain like this every day? Yes, it rains every day in the wet season. Which, then, is the dry season in the island? There is no dry season in the island. It is right to live for glory. There Or, steaming on the briny deep, is much glory in shooting barbarians. When Watch each on each we scarce need keep the island is conquered, who will go and live From off the ironclad's steel deck, in it? My tailor, my butcher, my wife's Lest mutual foes meet common wreck. mother (the mother of my wife), and all my Lord, no! If a strange hull draw near, creditors, I hope, will go and live in it. We A friendly voice salutes each ear. are not so rich as we once were. Why are What cheer?"we not so rich as we once were? Because we Ho, brother, quickly tell!- have spent all our money in trying to have big Colonies like our neighbour. If our 44 Below!" neighbour is so wicked, why should we imitate him? He is only wicked because he has (the) big Colonies. "Above!" "Messmates!" |