And so I will. Be you conformable, and follow but my will.

Mar. I shall not fail, Sir.

Leon. Will the duke come again, do you think? Mar. No, sure, Sir.

Has now no policy to bring him hither.

Leon. Nor bring you to him, if my wit hold, fair wife.

Let's in to dinner.

SCENE II-A Street.

ciently,

Enter PEREZ.

[Exeunt.

Per. It is no matter. By a woman cozen'd, A real woman!

Caca. By a real devil.

Plague of her jewels, and her copper chains,
How rank they smell.

Per. Sweet, cozen'd Sir, let's see them.

I have been cheated too, I would have you note that,

And lewdly cheated, by a woman also,
A scurvy woman. I am undone, sweet Sir,
Therefore I must have leave to laugh.
Caca. Pray ye take it;

That all the queans in Christendom might hear

me,

Pox! they love billing too well, though they smoke for't.

Cut her in pieces, every piece will live still,
And every morsel of her will do mischief.

They have so many lives, there's no hanging of 'em;

[feathers;

They are too light to drown, they're cork and
To burn too cold, they live like salamanders:
Under huge heaps of stones to bury her,
And so depress her, as they did the giants,
She will move under more than built old Babel.
I must destroy her.

Enter CACAFOGO, with a Casket.

Caca. Be cozen'd by a thing of clouts! a she moth,

That every silkman's shop breeds! To be cheated, And of a thousand ducats, by a whim-wham! Per. Who's that is cheated? Speak again, thou vision.

But art thou cheated? Minister some comfort.
Tell me, I conjure thee, art thou cheated bravely?
Come, pr'ythee come; art thou so pure a cox-
comb,

To be undone? Do not dissemble with me.
Caca. Then keep thy circle:

For I'm a spirit wild that flies about thee;
And, whosoe'er thou art, if thou be'st human,
I'd let thee plainly know, I'm cheated damnably.
Per. Ha, ha, ha!

Caca. Dost thou laugh? Damnably; I say, most damnably.

Per. By whom, good spirit? Speak, speak! Ha, ha, ha!

Caca. I'll utter; laugh till thy lungs crack; by a rascal woman!

A lewd, abominable, and plain woman!
Dost thou laugh still?

Per. I must laugh, pr'ythee pardon me,
I shall laugh terribly.

Caca. I shall be angry,

Terribly angry; I have canse.

Per. That's it;

And 'tis no reason but thou shouldst be angry, Angry at heart: yet I must laugh still at thee. By a woman cheated! Art sure it was a wo

[worth
I've seen these jewels: what a notable penny-
Have you had! You will not take, Sir,
Some twenty ducats-

Caca. Thou'rt deceived; I will take-
Per. To clear your bargain, now.
Caca. I'll take some ten,

Some any thing, half ten, half a ducat.

Per. An excellent lapidary set these stones, D'ye mark their waters?

[sure:

Caca. Quicksands choke their waters, And hers that brought them too: but I shall find her.

Per. And so shall I, I hope: but do not hur her:

if you had need of cozening, as you may have,
(For such gross natures will desire it often,
"Tis, at sometimes too, a fine variety,)
You cannot find in all this kingdom,
A woman that can cozen you so neatly.
She hath taken half mine anger off with this trick
[Exit
Caca. If I were valiant now, I'd kill this fel
low.

I've money enough lies by me, at a pinch,
To pay for twenty rascals' lives that vex me.
I'll to this lady; there I shall be satisfied. [Exit
SCENE III-A Street.

Enter PEREZ and ESTIFANIA, meeting. Per. Why, how dar'st thou meet me again thou rebel?

And know'st how thou hast used me thrice, thou rascal ?

Were there not ways enough to fly my vengeance, No holes nor vaults to hide thee from my fury, But thou must meet me face to face to kill thee? I would not seek thee to destroy thee willingly, But now thou com'st t' invite me, com'st upon

me.

[nei, How like a sheep-biting rogue, taken i' the manAnd ready for a halter, dost thou look now? Thou hast a hanging look, thou scurvy thing. Hast ne'er a knife,

Nor e'er a string, to lead thee to Elysium?
Be there no pitiful 'pothecaries in this town,
That have compassion upon wretched women,
That dare administer a dram of ratsbane,
But thou must fall to me?

Estif. I know you've mercy.

Per. If I had tons of mercy thou deserv'st

none.

What new trick's now a-foot, and what new houses

Have you i' the air? What orchards in appar What canst thou say for thy life? [tior? Estif. Little or nothing

Per. Do you wear guns?

Estif. I am a soldier's wife, Sir,

And by that privilege I may be arm'd.

Now, what's the news? And let's discourse more friendly,

And talk of our affairs in peace.

Per. Let me see,

Serv. Oh, sweet gentleman, is almost slain! Mar. Away, away, and help him;

All the house help.

[Exit SERVANT. Leon. How! slain? Why, Margaritta, Wife, sure some new device they have a-foot

Mar. How came you hurt, Sir?

Duke. I fell out with my friend, the noble co

lonel.

And there we'll learn to live contentedly.
This place is full of charge, and full of hurry;
No part of sweetness dwells about these cities.
Mar. Whither you will, I wait upon your
pleasure:

Live in a hollow tree, Sir, I'll live with ye.

Leon. Ay, now you strike a harmony, a true

one,

When your obedience waits upon your husband.
Why, now I dote upon you, love ye dearly;
And my rough nature falls, like roaring streams,
Clearly and sweetly into your embraces.
Oh, what a jewel is a woman excellent,
A wise, a virtuous, and a noble woman!
When we meet such, we bear our stamps on both
sides,
[tues.
And through the world we hold our current vir-
Alone we are single medals, only faces,
And wear our fortunes out in useless shadows.
Command you now, and ease me of that trouble,
I'll be as humble to you as a servant.
Bid whom you please, invite your noble friends,
They shall be welcome all, now experience
Has bound you fast unto the chain of goodness.
[Clashing of swords-a cry within, of" down
with their swords."
What noise is this? what dismal cry?

Duke. I thank ye, noble Sir.

Leon. To bed with him; and, wife, give your attendance.

[Exeunt DUKE, SAN. ALON. MARG. and SERVANT.

Leon. Afore me,

Enter JUAN.

'Tis rarely counterfeited.

Juan. True, it is so, Sir!

And take you heed this last blow do not spoil ye. He is not hurt, only we made a scuffle,

As though we purposed anger: that same scratch, On's hand, he took, to colour all, and draw compassion,

That he might get into your house more cunningly.

I must not stay; stand now, and you're a brave fellow.

Leon. I thank ye, noble colonel, and I honour ye.

Never be quiet!

Enter MARGARITTA.

(Erit JUAN.

Enter CACAFOGO, drunk.

Caca. Where is my bona roba? Oh, you're all here. Why, I don't fear snap-dragons-Impotential, powerfully potion'd-I can drink with Hector, and beat him too. Then what care I for captains; I'm full of Greek wine: the true ancient courage.-Sweet Mrs. Margaritta, let me kiss thee. Your kisses shall pay me for his kicking.

Leon. What would you?
Caca. Sir!

Leon. Lead off the wretch.

Duke. Most filthy figure truly.

Per. I'll cry, and then be thankful, Indeed I will, and I'll be honest to ye; I'd live a swallow here, I must confess. Wife, I forgive thee all if thou be honest, And at thy peril, I believe thee excellent. Estif. If I prove otherwise, let me beg first. Mar. Hold, this is yours, some recompence for service,

Use it to nobler ends than he that gave it. Duke. And this is yours, your true commis sion, Sir.

Now you're a captain.

Leon. You're a noble prince, Sir; And now a soldier.

I

Juan. Sir, I shall wait upon you through all fortunes.

Alon. And I.

Alt. And I must needs attend my mistress.
Leon. Will you go, sister?

Alt. Yes, indeed, good brother:

have two ties, mine own blood, and my mistress. Mar. Is she your sister?

Leon. Yes, indeed, good wife,

And my best sister, for she proved so, wench, When she deceived you with a loving husband.

Alt. I would not deal so truly for a stranger. Mar. Well, I could chide ye, but it must be lovingly,

Juan. Sleep, and be silent.

tain Half-pay;

I'll not take thy pawn in.

Leon. Which of the butts is thy mistress!

Caca. Butt in thy belly.

Leon. There are two in thine, I'm sure, it is

grown so monstrous.

Caca. Butt in thy face.

[Exit CACA.

Leon. Go, carry him to sleep; When he is sober, let him out to rail, Or hang himself; there will be no loss of him.

Enter PEREZ and ESTIFANIA.

Leon. Who's this? my Mahound cousin? Per. Good Sir, 'tis very good: would I'd a house too,

for there's no talking in the open air.
You have a pretty seat, you have the luck on't,
A pretty lady too, I have miss'd both;
My carpenter built in a mist, I thank him.
Do me the courtesy to let me see it,
See it once more. But I shall cry for anger.
I'll hire a chandler's shop close under ye,
And, for my foolery sell soap and whip-cord.

Juan. Your colours you must wear, and wear 'em proudly,

Wear 'em before the bullet, and in blood too. And all the world shall know we're virtue's ser

ACT I.

SCENE I.

Enter SIR THEODORE and CHARLOTTE.

Char. Nay, there can be no harm in a little mirth, guardian: even those who happen to be the objects must approve the justice of it.

Sir T. But consider, Charlotte, what will the world say of me? will it not be in every mouth, that Sir Theodore Goodchild was a very imprudent man, in combining with his ward to turn her lovers into ridicule?

Char. Not at all, Sir; the world will applaud the mirth; especially when they know what kind of lovers they are, and that the sole motive of their addresses was the lady's fortune. Well, sure, since the days of giants and enchanted castles, no poor damsel has been besieged by such a group of old mortals. Let me review my equipage of lovers! the first upon the list is a beau Jew, who, in spite of nature and education, sets up for a wit, a gentieman, and a man of taste.

ing ruined his finances by dogs, grooms, cocks, and horses, and such polite company, now thinks to retrieve his affairs by a matrimonial match with a city fortune.

Sir T. Ha, ha, ha! I find, Madam, you have perused the squire with great exactness.

Char. Pretty well, Sir. To this Newmarket wight succeeds a proud, haughty, Caledonian knight; whose tongue, like the dart of death, spares neither sex nor age; it leaves none unvisited. All dread, and all feel it.

Sir T. Yes, yes, his insolence of family, and licentiousness of wit, have gained him the contempt and general toleration of mankind; but we must look upon his spleen and ill-nature, my dear, not as a national, but a personal vice.

Char. As such, Sir, I always understand, and laugh at him. -Well, of all my swains, he is the most whimsical; his passion is to turn every mortal into ridicule; even I, the object of his flame, cannot escape; for while his avarice courts my fortune, his pride despises and sneers at my birth.

wit.

Sir T. That, Charlotte, is only to show his