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Sir Fran. Ah, my lady! my lady! this comes Count Bas. I, sir ! of your journey to London: but now I'll have a Man. I know you have therefore, you can't frolic of my own, madam; therefore pack up blame her, if, in the fact you are charged with, your trumpery this very night; for, the moment she is a principal witness against you. Howemy horses are able to crawl, you and your brats ver, you have one, and only one chance to get shall make a journey into the country again. off with. Marry her this instant and you take
Lady Wrong. Indeed, you are mistaken, sir off her evidence. Francis-I shall not stir out of town, yet, I pro
Count Bas. Dear sir !
Man. No words, sir; a wife, or a mittimus. Sir Fran. Not stir? Waunds, madam
Count Bas. Lord, sir! this is the most unmerMan. Hold, sir ! If you'll give me leave a lit- ciful mercy! tle-I fancy I shall prevail with my lady to Man. A private penance, or a public onethink better on't.
Constable. Sir Fran. Ah, cousin, you are a friend, in- Count Bas. Hold, sir; since you are pleased to deed!
give me my choice, I will not make so ill a Man. (Apart to my lady.) Look you, madam, compliment to the lady, as not to give her the as to the favour you designed me, in sending this preference. spurious letter inclosed to my lady Grace, all the Man. It must be done this minute, sir: the revenge I have taken, is to have saved your son chaplain you expected is still within call. and daughter from ruin. Now, if you will take Count Bas. Well, sir,- -since it must be them fairly and quietly into the country again, I some -Come, spouse-I am not the first of will save your ladyship from ruin.
the fraternity, that has run his head into one Lady Wrong. What do you mean, sir?' noose, to keep it out of another. Man. Why, sir Francis shall never know Myr. Come, sir, don't repine : marriage is, at what is in this letter; look upon it. How it worst, but playing upon the square. came into my hands, you shall know at leisure. Count Bas. Ay, but the worst of the match,
Lady Wrong. Ha?-my billet-doux to the too, is the devil. count! and an appointment in it! I shall sink Man. Well, sir, to let you see it is not so bad with contusion!
as you think it, as a reward for her honesty, in Man. What shall I say to sir Francis, ma- detecting your practices, instead of the forged dam?
bill you would have put upon her, there's a real Lady Wrong. Dear sir, I am in such a trem- one of five hundred pounds to begin a new honey bling ! preserve my honour, and I am all obe moon with.
(Gives it to MYRTILLA, dience.
[ Apart to Manly. Count Bas. Sir, this is so generous an actMan. Sir Francis. -my lady is ready to re- Man. No compliments, dear sir-I am not at ceive your commands for her journey, whenever leisure now to receive them. Mr Constable, will you please to appoint it.
you be so good as to wait upon this gentleman Sir Fran. Ah, cousin, I doubt I am obliged into the next room, and give this lady in marto you for it.
riage to him? Man. Come, come, sir Francis; take it as you Con. Sir, i'll do it faithfully. find it, Obedience in a wife is a good thing, Count Bas. Well, five hundred will serve to though it were never so wonderful ! And now, make a handsome push with, however. sir, we have nothing to do but to dispose of this [Ereunt Count Basset, MYRTILLA, and gentleman.
Constable. Count Bas. Mr Manly! sir! I hope you won't Sir Fran. And that I may be sure my family's ruin me!
rid of himn for ever-come, my lady, let's even Man. Did you forge this note for five hun- take our children along with us, and be all witdred pounds, sir?
nesses of the ceremony. Count Bas. Sir- I see you know the world, [Exeunt Sir Francis, Lady WRONGHEAD, and, therefore, I shall not pretend to prevaricate
Miss and SQUIRE.] -But it has hurt nobody yet, sir; I beg you will Man. Now, my lord, you may enter. not stigmatise me; since you have spoiled my fortune in one family, I hope you won't be so
Enter Lord and Lady Townly, and LADY
GRACE. cruel to a young fellow, as to put it out of my power, sir, to make it in another, sir.
Lord Town. So, sir, I give you joy of your neMun. Look you, sir, I have not much time to gociation. waste with you: but, if you expect mercy your
Man. You overheard it all, I presume? self, you must shew it to one you have been cru- Lady Grace. From first to last, sir.
Lord Town. Never were knaves and fools betCount Bas. Cruel, sir !
ter disposed of. Man. Have you not ruined this young wo- Man. A sort of poetical justice, my lord, not man?
inuch above the judgment of a modern comedy,
Lord Town. To heighten that resemblance, I Lady Town. Sister, I give you joy consumthink, sister, there only wants your rewarding mate as the happiest pair can boast. the hero of the fable, by naming the day of his happiness.
In you, methinks, as in a glass, I see Lady Grace. This day, to-morrow, every hour, The happiness, that once advanced to me. I hope, of lire to come, will shew I want not in- So visible the bliss, so plain the way, clination to complete it.
ow was it possible my sense could stray ? Man. Whatever I may want, madam, you will But now, a convert to this truth I come, always find endeavours to deserve you.
That married happiness
never found from Lörd Town. Then, all are happy.
SCENE I.-Ranger's chambers in the Temple. Ser. I was only below combing out your ho
A knocking is heard at the door for some nour's wig. time ; when Ranger enters, having let him- Ran. Well, give me my cap.-(Pulling off his
wig.] Why, how like a raking dog do you look, Ran. Once more I am got safe to the Temple. compared to that spruce, sober gentleman! Go, Let me reflect a little. I have sat up all night : you battered devil, and be made fit to be seen! I have my head full of bad wine, and the noise of
[Throwing his wig to the servant. oaths, dice, and the damned tinkling of tavern
Ser. Cod, my master's very merry this mornbells; my spirits jaded, and my eyes sunk in my
[Erit. head; and all this for the conversation of a com
Ran. And now for the law. pany of fellows I despise. Their wit lies only in
[Sits down, and reads. obscenity, their mirth in noise, and their delight
• Tell me no more, I am deceiv'd, in a box and dice. Honest Ranger, take my
• That Chloe's false and common; word for it, thou art a mighty silly fellow!
* By Heaven, I all along believ'd
• She was a very woman! Enter a Servant, with a wig dressed.
*As such I lik’d, as such caress'd; Where have you been, rascal? If I had not
‘She still was constant when possessed : had the key in my pocket, I must have waited at
She could do more for no man.' the door in this dainty dress.
Honest Congreve was a man after my own beart.
Servants pass over the stage.
Ran. Civil! Egad, I think I am very civil.
[Kisses her again. Have you been for the money this morning, as I ordered you?
Enter a Servant, and BELLAMY. Ser. No, sir. You bade me go before
Ser. Sir, Mr Bellamy: up; I did not know your honour meant before Ran. Damn your impertinence-Oh, Mc you went to bed.
Bellamy, your servant. Ran. None of your jokes, I pray; but to bu- Mil. What shall I say to my mistress ? siness. Go to the coffee-house, and inquire if there Ran. Bid her make half a dozen more; but has been any letter or message left for me. be sure you bring them home yourself. (Erit Ser. I shall, sir.
Milliner.) Pshaw! Pox! Mr Bellamy, how Ran. [Repeats.]
like to be served so yourself?
Bel. How can you, Ranger, for a minute's You think she's false; I'm sure she's kind : pleasure, give an innocent girl the pain of heart • I take her body, You her mind;
I am confident she felt? - There was a modest • Which has the better bargain?"
blush upon her cheek that convinces me she is
honest. Oh, that I had such a soft, deceitful fair, to lull Ran. May be so. I was resolved to try, howniy senses to their desired sleep! [Knocking at ever, had you not interrupted the experiment. the door.] Come iu.
Bel. Fy, Rauger! will you never think?
Ran. Yes; but I cannot be always athinking. Enter Simon.
The law is a damnable dry study, Mr Bellamy; Oh, master Simon, is it you? How long have you and without something now and then to amuse been in town?
and relax, it would be too much for my brain, I Sim. Just come, sir; and but for a little time promise ye- -But I am a mighty sober fellow neither; and yet' I have as many messages as if grown. Here have I been at it these three hours; we were to stay the whole year round. Here but the wenches will never let me alone. they are, all of them, [Pulls out a number of Bel. Three hours! Why, do you usually study cards.] and, among them, one for your honour. in such shoes and stockings ?
Ran. (Reads.] . Clarinda's compliments to her Ran. Rat your inquisitive eyes! Ex pede Her
cousin Ranger, and should be glad to see him culem. Egad, you have me. The truth is, I am • for ever so little a time that he can be spared but this moment returned from the tavern. What, ' from the more weighty business of the law.'| Frankly here, too! Ha, ha, ha! the same merry girl I ever knew
Enter FRANKLY. Sim. My lady is never sad, sir.
Frank. My boy, Ranger, I am heartily glad [Knocking at the door. to see you. Bellamy, let me embrace you; you Ran. Prythee, Simon, open the door.. are the person I want. I have been at your
lodgings, and was directed hither. Enter Milliner.
Ran. It is to him, then, I am obliged for this Well, child and who are you?
visit : but with all my heart. He is the only Mil. Sir, my mistress gives her service to you; man to whom I don't care how much I am obliand has sent you home the linen you bespoke.
ged. Ran. Well, Simon, my service to your lady, Bel. Your humble servant, sir. and let her know I will most certainly wait upon Frank. You know, Ranger, I want no induceher. I am a little busy, Simon--and so- ment to be with you. But- -you look sadly
Sim. Ah, you're a wag, Master Ranger, you're What- -no merciless jade has- -has she? a wag -but mum for that.
f Erit. Ran. No, no; sound as a roach, my lad. I Ran. I swear, my dear, you have the prettiest only got a little too much liquor last night, which I pair of eyes--the loveliest pouting lips—I have not slept off yet. never saw you before.
Bel. Thus, Frankly, it is every day. All the Mil. No, sir ! I was always in the shop. morning his head aches; at noon, he begins to
Ran. Were you so ?-Well, and what does clear up; towards evening, he is good company; your mistress say?
-The devil fetch me, child, and all night, he is carefully providing for the you looked so prettily, that I could not mind one same course the next day. word you said.
Ran. Why, I must own, my ghostly father, I Mii. Lard, sir, you are such another gentle did relapse a little last night, just to furnish out man !—Why, she says, she is sorry she could not a decent confession for the day. send them sooner. Shall I lay them down? Frank. And he is now doing penance for it.
Ran. No, child. Give them to me- -Dear Were you his confessor, indeed, you could not little smiling angel — [Catches, and kisses her. well desire more. Mil. I beg, sir, you would be civil.
Ran. Charles, he sets up for a confessor with
the worst grace in the world. Here has he been
'Tis plain she is not one of us, or I should not reproving me for being but decently civil to my have been so remiss in my inquiries. No matmilliner. Plague! because the coldness of his ter; I shall meet her in my walks. constitution makes him insensible of a fine wo
Serrant enters. inan's charms every body else must be so, too.
Del. I am no less sensible of their charms than Ser. There is no letter nor message, sir. you are ; though I cannot kiss every woman I Ran. Then my things to dress.- I take meet, or fall in love, as you call it, with every her body, you her mind; which has the better face wbich has the bloom of youth upon it. i bargain?
[Erennt. would only have you a little more frugal of your pleasures.
SCENE II.-A chamber. Frank. My dear friend, this is very pretty talking ! But, let me tell you, it is in the power Enter MRS STRICTLand and Jacintha, meeting, of the very first glance from a fine woman, utterly to disconcert all your philosophy.
NIrs Strict. Good-morrow, my dear Jacintha. Bel. It inust be from a fine woman, then; and Jac. Good-morrow to you, madam. I have noi such as are generally reputed so. And it must brought my work, and intend to sit with you this be a thorough acquaintauce with her, too, that morning. I hope you have got the better of will ever make an impression on my heart. your fatigue? Where is Clarinda ? I should be
Ran. Would I could see it once! For when a glad if she would come and work with us. man has been all his life hoarding up a stock, Mrs Strict. She work! she is too fine a lady without allowing bimself common necessaries, to do any tbing. She is not stirring yet-we it tickles me to the soul to see himn lay it all out must let her have her rest. People of her waste upon a wrong bottom, and become bankrupt at of spirits require more time to recruit again. last.
Jac. It is pity she should be ever tired with Bel. Well, I don't care how soon you see it. / what is so agreeable to every body else. I am For the minute I tind a woman capable of friend- prodigiously pleased with her company: ship, love, and tenderness, with good sense Mrs Strict. And when you are better acenough to be always easy, and good-nature quainted, you will be still more pleased with enough to like me, I will immediately put it to her. You must rally her upon her partner at the trial, which of us shall have the greatest Bath; for I fancy part of her rest has been disshare of bappiness from the sex, you or I. turbed on his account.
han. By marrying her, I suppose! Capable of Jac. Was he really a pretty fellow? friendship, love, and tenderness! ha, ha, ha! that Mirs Strict. That I cannot tell; I did not a man of your sense should talk so! If she be dance myself, and so did not much mind him. capable of love, 'tis all I require of my mis- You must have the whole story froin herself. tress; and as every woman, who is young, is ca- Jac. Oh, I warrant ye, I get it all out. None pable of love, I am very reasonably in love with are so proper to make discoveries in love, as every young woman I meet. My Lord Coke, in those who are in the secret theni selves. a case I read this morning, speaks my sense. Both. My lord Coke!
Enter LUCETTA. Ran. Yes, my lord Coke. What he says of one woman, I say of the whole sex: I take their Luc. Madam, Mr Strictland is inquiring for bodies, you their minds; which has the better you. llere has been Mr Buckle with a letter bargain?
from his master, which has made him very anIran. There is no arguing with so great a gry. lawyer. Suppose, therefore, we adjourn the de- Jac. Mr Bellamy sairl, indece!, he would try bate to some other time. I have some serious him once more, but I fear it will prove in rain, business with Mr Bellamy, and you want sleep, I Tell your master I am here.- [Exit Lucetta.)
What signifies fortune, when it only makes us Ran. Sleep! mere loss of time, and hin- slaves to other people? derance of business-We inen of spirit, sir, Mrs Strict. Do not be uneasy, my Jacintha. are above it.
You shall always find a friend in me: but as for Bel. Wbither shall we go?
Mr Strictland, I know vot what ill temper bangs Fran, Into the park. My chariot is at the about him lately. Nothing satisfies bim. You door,
saw how he received us when we came off our Bel. Then if my servant calls, you'll send bim journey. Though Clarinda was so good compaafter us?
[Exeunt. ny, he was barely civil to her, and downright rude kan. I will. (Looking on the carel.] Clarin- to me. da’s compliments’– A pox of this head of mine, Jac. I cannot help saying, I did observe it. never once to ask where she was to be found ! Mrs Strict. I saw you did. llush! he's here,