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word how thou findest him: I would, we were well
I'll be with you again, rid of this knavery. If he may be conveniently
In a trice; delivered, I would he were ; for I am now so far in
Like to the old vice 4 offence with my niece, that I cannot pursue with
Your need to sustain. any safety this sport to the upshot. Come by and
Who with dagger of lath, by to my chamber. (Ereunt Sir Toby and Maria.
In his rage and his wrath,
Cries, ah, ha! to the devil :
Like a mad lad,
Pare thy nails, dad. Clo. My lady is unkind, perdy.
Adieu, goodman drival. [Exit. Mal. Fool. Clo. Alas, why is she so ? Mal. Fool, I say;
SCENE III. - Olivia's Garden. Clo. She loves another Who calls, ha ?
Enter SEBASTIAN. Mal. Good fool, as ever thou wilt deserve well at my hand, help me to a candle, and pen, ink, and Seb. This is the air; that is the glorious sun; paper ; as I am a gentleman, I will live to be thank- | This pearl she gave me, I do feel't and see't : ful to thee for't.
And though 'tis wonder that enwraps me thus, Clo. Master Malvolio!
Yet 'tis not madness. Where's Antonio then ? Mal. Ay, good fool.
I could not find him at the Elephant : ilo. Alas, sir, how fell you besides your five wits? Yet there he was ; and there I found this credit 5,
Mal. Fool, there was never man so notoriously | That he did range the town to seek me out. abused: I am as well in my wits, fool, as thou art. His counsel now might do me golden service:
Clo. But as well ? then you are mad, indeed, if For though my soul disputes well with my sense, you be no better in your wits than a fool.
That this may be some error, but no madness, Mal. They have here propertied me; keep me Yet doth this accident and flood of fortune in darkness, send ministers to me, asses, and do all So far exceed all instance, all discourse, they can to face me out of my wits.
That I am ready to distrust mine eyes, Clo. Advise you what you say; the minister is And wrangle with my reason, that persuades me here. — Malvolio, Malvolio, thy wits the heavens To any other trust, but that I am mad, restore! endeavour thyself to sleep, and leave thy Or else the lady's mad; yet, if 'twere so, vain bibble babble.
She could not sway her house, command her folMal. Sir Topas
lowers, Clo. Maintain no words with him, good fellow.- Take, and give back, affairs and their despatch, Who, I, sir ? not I, sir. God b'wi'you, good sir With such a smooth, discreet, and stable bearing, Topas. — Marry, amen. I will, sir, I will. As, I perceive, she does : there's something in't, Mal. Fool, fool, fool, I say,
That is deceivable. But here comes the lady. Clo. Alas, sir, be patient. What say you, sir? I
Enter Olivia and a Priest. am shent 3 for speaking to you.
Mal. Good fool, help me to some light, and some Oli. Blame not this haste of mine : If you mean paper ; I tell thee, I am as well in my wits, as any
well, man in Illyria.
Now go with me, and with this holy man, Clo. Well-a-day, - that you were, sir !
Into the chantry by : there, before him, Mal. By this hand I am : Good fool, some ink, And underneath that consecrated roof, paper, and light, and convey what I will set down Plight me the full assurance of your faith ; to my lady ; it shall advantage thee more than ever That my most jealous and too doubtful soul the bearing of letter did.
May live at peace : He shall conceal it, Clo. I will help you to't. But tell me true, are Whiles 6 you are willing it shall come to note; you not mad indeed ? or do you but counterfeit? What time we will our celebration keep Mal. Believe me, I am not; I tell thee true. According to my birth.
What do you say? Clo. Nay, I'll ne'er believe a madman, till I see Seb. I'll follow this good man, and
you; his brains. I will fetch you light, and paper, and ink. And, having sworn truth, ever will be true. Mal. Fool, I'll requite it in the highest degree: Oli. Then lead the way, good father ;
And I pr'ythee, be gone.
heaven to shine, Clo. I am gone, sir,
That they may fairly note this act of mine!
SCENE I. — The Street before Olivia's House.
Enter Clown and FABIAN.
Clo. Good master Fabian, grant me another re-
Clo. Do not desire to see this letter.
Fab. That is, to give a dog, and, in recompense, desire my dog again.
Enter DUKE, Viola, and Attendants. Duke. Belong you to the lady Olivia, friends ? 4 A buffoon character in the old plays, and father of the modern harlequin.
3 Scolded, reprimanded.
6 Until G
Clo. Ay, sir ; we are some of her trappings. Be pleas'd that I shake off these names you give me ;
Duke. I know thee well; How dost thou, my Antonio never yet was thief, or pirate, good fellow?
Though, I confess, on base and ground enough, Clo. Truly, sir, the better for my foes, and the Orsino's enemy. A witchcraft drew me hither : worse for my friends.
That most ingrateful boy there, by your side, Duke. Just the contrary; the better for thy From the rude sea's enrag'd and foamy mouth friends.
Did I redeem; a wreck past hope he was : Clo. No, sir, the worse.
His life I gave him, and did thereto add Duke. How can that be ?
My love, without retention, or restraint, Clo. Marry, sir, they praise me, and make an ass 111 his in dedication : for his sake, of me; now my foes tell me plainly I am an ass : so Did I expose myself, pure for his love, that by my foes, sir, I profit in the knowledge of Into the danger of this adverse town; myself; and by my friends I am abused : so that, Drew to defend him, when he was beset ; conclusions to be as kisses, if your four negatives Where being apprehended, his false cunning, make your two affirmatives, why, then the worse for (Not meaning to partake with me in danger,) my friends, and the better for my foes.
Taught him to face me out of his acquaintance, Duke. Why, this is excellent.
And grew a twenty-years-removed thing, Clo. By my troth, sir, no ; though it please you While one would wink; denied me mine own purse, to be one of my friends.
Which I had recommended to his use Duke. Thou shalt not be the worse for me ; there's Not half an hour before. gold.
How can this be ? Clo. But that it would be double-dealing, sir, I Duke. When came he to this town? would you could make it another.
Ant. To-day, my lord; and for three months Duke. O, you give me ill counsel.
before, Clo. Put your grace in your pocket, sir, for this (No interim, not a minute's vacancy,) once, and let your flesh and blood obey it.
Both day and night did we keep company. Duke. Well, I will be so much a sinner to be a double-dealer; there's another.
Enter Olivia and Attendants. Clo. Primo, secundo, tertio, is a good play ; and Duke. Here comes the countess; now heaven the old saying is, the third pays for all: the tripler,
walks on earth. sir, is a good tripping measure; or the bells of But for thee, fellow, fellow, thy words are madness. St. Bennet, sir, may put you in mind : One, two, Three months this youth hath tended upon me; three.
But more of that anon. — Take him aside. Duke. You can fool no more money out of me at
Oli. What would my lord, but that he may not this throw : if you will let your lady know, I am
have, here to speak with her, and bring her along with Wherein Olivia may seem serviceable ? you, it may awake my bounty further.
Cesario, you do not keep promise with me. Clo. Marry, sir, lullaby to your bounty till I come
Vio. Madam ? again. I go, sir ; but I would not have you to
Duke. Gracious Olivia, think, that my desire of having is the sin of covetous
Ol. What do you say, Cesario ? — ness : but, as you say, sir, let your bounty take a
lord, nap, I will awake it anon.
[Erit Clown. Vio. My lord would speak, my duty hushes me.
Oli. If it be aught to the old tune, my lord,
It is as fat 8 and fulsome to mine ear,
Still so cruel ? Yet, when I saw it last, it was besmear'd
Oli. Still so constant, lord. As black as Vulcan, in the smoke of war :
Duke. What ! to perverseness? you uncivil lady, A bawbling vessel was he captain of,
To whose ingrate and unauspicious altars For shallow draught, and bulk, unprizable ;
My soul the faithfull'st offerings hath breath'd out, With which such scathful grapple did he make
That e'er devotion tender'd! What shall I do? With the most noble bottom of our fleet,
Oli. Even what it please my lord, that shall beThat very envy, and the tongue of loss,
come him. Cry'd fame and honour on him.- What's the matter?
Duke. Why should I not, had I the heart to do it, 1 0ff. Orsino, this is that Antonio,
Like to the Egyptian thief, at point of death,
That sometime savours nobly?— But hear me this: And this is he, that did the Tiger board,
Since you to non-regardance cast my faith, When your young nephew Titus lost his leg : And that I partly know the instrument Here in the streets, desperate of shame, and state,
That screws me from my true place in your favour, In private brabble did we apprehend him.
Live you, the marble-breasted tyrant, still; Vio. He did me kindness, sir ; drew on my side; But this your minion, whom, I know, you love, But, in conclusion, put strange speech upon me,
And whom, by heaven, I swear, I tender dearly, I know not what 'twas, but distraction.
Him will I tear out of that cruel eye, Duke. Notable pirate! thou salt-water thief! Where he sits crowned in his master's spite. What foolish boldness brought thee to their mercies, Come boy, with me; my thoughts are ripe in misWhom thou, in terms so bloody, and so dear,
chief: Hast made thine enemies ?
I'll sacrifice the lamb that I do love, Ant.
Orsino, noble sir, To spite a raven's heart within a dove. (Going. 7 Freight
& Dull, gross.
Vio. And I, most jocund, apt, and willingly, Sir And. If a bloody coxcomb be a hurt, you To do you rest, a thousand deaths would die. have hurt me; I think, you set nothing by a bloody
[Following: coxcomb. Oli. Where goes Cesario ? Vio.
After him I love,
Enter Sir Toby Belca, drunk, led by the Clown. More than I love these eyes, more than my life, Here comes sir Toby halting, you shall hear more: More, by all mores, than e'er I shall love wife :
but if he had not been in drink, he would have If I do feign, you witnesses above,
tickled you othergates 9 than he did. Punish my life, for tainting of my love !
Duke. How now, gentleman ? how is't with you? Oli. Ah me, detested! how am I beguild!
Sir To. That's all one; he has hurt me, and Vio. Who does beguile you? who does do you there's the end on't. - Sot, did'st see Dick surgeon,
wrong? Oli. Hast thou forgot thyself! Is it so long ! - Clo. O he's drunk, sir Toby, an hour agone; his Call forth the holy father. (Erit an Attendant.
eyes were set at eight i'the morning. Duke. Come away. (To Viola.
Sir To. Then he's a rogue, and a passy-measures Oli. Whither, my lord ? . Cesario, husband, stay. pavin'; I hate a drunken rogue. Duke. Husband ?
Oli. Away with him: Who hath made this havock Oli.
Ay, husband; Can he that deny? with them ? Duke. Her husband, sirrah ?
Sir And. I'll help you, sir Toby, because we'll Vio.
No, my lord, not I. be dressed together. Oli. Alas, it is the baseness of thy fear,
Sir To. Will you help an ass-head, and a coxThat makes thee strangle thy propriety :
comb, and a knave? a thin-faced knave, a gull ? Fear not, Cesario, take thy fortunes up;
Oli. Get him to bed, and let his hurt be look'd to. Be that thou know'st thou art, and then thou art
[Exeunt Clown, Sir Toby, and Sir ANDREW. As great as that thou fear'st. -0, welcome, father:
Seb. I am sorry, madam, I have hurt your kinsHere to unfold (though lately we intended
man ; To keep in darkness, what occasion now
But had it been the brother of my blood, Reveals before 'tis ripe,) what thou dost know I must have done no less, with wit, and safety. Hath newly past between this youth and me. You throw a strange regard upon me, and
Priest. A contract of eternal bond of love, By that I do perceive it hath offended you; Confirm'd by mutual joinder of your hands, Pardon me, sweet one, even for the vows Attested by the holy close of lips,
We made each other but so late ago. Strengthen’d by interchangement of your rings; Duke. One face, one voice, one habit, and two And all the ceremony of this compáct
persons; Seal'd in my function, by my testimony:
A natural perspective, that is, and is not. Since when, my watch hath told me, toward my Seb. Antonio, O my dear Antonio ! grave,
How have the hours rack'd and tortur'd me, I have travell'd but two hours.
Since I have lost thee! Duke. O, thou dissembling cub! what wilt thou be, Ant. Sebastian are you? When time hath sow'd a grizzle on thy case ?
Fear'st thou that, Antonio? Or will not else thy craft so quickly grow,
Ant. How have you made division of yourself?— That thine own trip shall be thine overthrow ? An apple, cleft in two, is not more twin Farewell, and take her ; but direct thy feet,
Than these two creatures. Which is Sebastian ? Where thou and I henceforth may never mcet.
Oli. Most wonderful ! Vio. My lord, I do protest,
Seb. Do I stand there? I never had a brother: Oli.
0, do not swear; Nor can there be that deity in my nature, Hold little faith, though thou hast too much fear. Of here and every where. I had a sister,
Whom the blind waves and surges have devour'd :Enter Sir ANDREW AGUE-CHEEK, with his head
Of charity, what kin are you to me? [ To Viola. broke. Sir And. For the love of heaven, a surgeon;
What countryman? what name? what parentage ?
Vio. Of Messaline : Sebastian was my father; send one presently to sir Toby.
Such a Sebastian was my brother too,
So went he suited to his watery tomb:
A spirit I am, indeed; pound, I were at home.
But am in that dimension grossly clad,
Which from the womb I did participate. we took him for a coward, but he's the very devil I should my tears let fall upon your cheek, incardinate.
And say — Thrice welcome, drown'd Viola!
Vio. My father had a mole upon his brow.
Seb. And so had mine. my head for nothing; and that that I did, I was set on to do't by sir Toby,
Vio. And died that day when Viola from her birth
Had number'd thirteen years.
Seb. O, that record is lively in my soul !
1 Serious dances.
He finished, indeed, his mortal act.
you much shame.
Think of me as you please. I That day that made my sister thirteen years. leave my duty a little unthought of, and speak out of Vio. If nothing lets to make us happy both,
The madly used Malvolio. But this my masculine usurp'd attire,
Oli. Did he write this? Do not embrace me, till each circumstance
Clo. Ay, madam. Of place, time, fortune, do cohere, and jump,
Duke. This savours not much of distraction, That I am Viola : which to confirm,
Oli. See him deliver'd, Fabian; bring him hither. I'll bring you to a captain in this town,
[Erit Fabian. Where lie my maiden weeds; by whose gentle help My lord, so please you, these things further thought I was preserv’d, to serve this noble count: All the occurrence of my fortune since
To think me as well a sister as a wife, Hath been between this lady and this lord.
One day shall crown the alliance on’t, so please you, Seb. So comes it, lady, you have been mistook : Here at my house, and at my proper cost.
Duke. Madam, I am most apt to embrace your But nature to her bias drew in that.
offer. You would have been contracted to a maid ; Your master quits you ; (To Viola) and, for your Nor are you therein, by my life, deceived,
service done him, You are betroth'd both to a maid and man.
So much against the mettle 4 of your sex, Duke. Be not amaz’d; right noble is his blood.-- So far beneath your soft and tender, breeding, If this be so, as yet the glass seems true,
And since you call’d me master for so long,
A sister ? — you are she. Thou never should'st love woman like to me.
Re-enter FABIAN, with MalvoLIO.
Duke. Is this the madman ?
Ay, my lord, the same: That severs day from night.
How now, Malvolio?
Madam, you have done me wrong,
Notorious wrong. And let me see thee in thy woman's weeds.
Have I Malvolio? no.
Mal. Lady, you have. Pray you peruse that letter: Is now in durance ; at Malvolio's suit,
You must not now deny it is your hand, A gentleman, and follower of my lady's.
Write from it, if you can, in hand, or phrase; Oli. He shall enlarge him; Fetch Malvolio Or say, 'tis not your seal, nor your invention : hither :
You can say none of this : Well, grant it then, And yet, alas, now I remember me,
And tell me, in the modesty of honour, They say, poor gentleman, he's much distract. Why you have given me such clear lights of favour;
Bade me come smiling, and cross-garter'd to you, Re-enter Clown, with a Letter.
To put on yellow stockings, and to frown A most extracting frenzy of mine own
Upon sir Toby, and the lighter people: From remembrance clearly banish'd his.
And, acting this in an obedient hope, my How does he, sirrah ?
Why have you suffer'd me to be imprison's, Clo. Truly, madam, he holds Belzebub at the Kept in a dark house, visited by the priest, stave's end, as well as a man in his case may do: he And made the most notorious geck ", and gull
, has here writ a letter to you; I should have given That c'er invention play'd on ? tell me why. it to you to-day morning ; but as a madman's epis- Though I confess much like the character:
Oli. Alas, Malvolio, this is not my writing, tles are no gospels, so it skills not much, when they But out of question, 'tis Maria's hand. are delivered. Oli. Open it, and read it.
And now I do bethink me, it was she Clo. Look then to be well edified, when the fool First told me, thou wast mad; then cam'st in smiling, delivers the madman : - By the Lord, mailam,
And in such forms which here were presuppos'd Oli How now! art thou mad ?
Upon thee in the letter. Pr'ythee, be content: Clo. No, madam, I do but read madness: an your But when we know the grounds and authors of it,
This practice hath most shrewdly pass'd upon thee; ladyship will have it as it ought to be, you must allow vor. 2
Thou shalt be both the plaintiff and the judge
Of thine own cause.
Good madam, hear me speak; wits, is to read thus: therefore perpend , my prin- and let no quarrel, nor no brawl to come, cess, and give ear.
Taint the condition of this present hour, Oli. Read it you, sirrah. (T. Fabian. Which I have wonder'd at.
In hope it shall not, Fab. [Reads.] By the Lord, madam, you wrong Set this device against Malvolio here,
Most freely I confess, myself, and Toby, me, and the world shall know it : though you have put me into darkness, and given your drunken cousin Upon some stubborn and uncourteous parts rule over me, yet have I the benefit of my senses as
We had conceived against him : Maria writ well as your ladyship. I have your own letter that The letter, at sir Toby's great importance 6 ; induced me to the semblance I put on; with the In recompense whereof, he hath married her. which I doubt not but to do myself much right, or
How with a sportful malice it was follow'd,
3 Fool ? Voice
May rather pluck on laughter than revenge ; For so you shall be, while you are a man:
But, when in other habits you are seen,
Orsino's mistress, and his fancy's queen. [Exeunt. Oli. Alas, poor fool! how have they baffled thee!
SONG. Clo. Why, some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrown upon them. I Clo. When that I was and a little tiny boy, was one, sir, in this interlude; one sir Topas, sir;
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, but that's all one : — By the Lord, fool, I am not A foolish thing was but a toy, mad; · But do you remember? Madam, why laugh
For the rain it raineth every day. you at such a barren rascal ? an you smile not, he's But when I come to man's estate, gayg'd: And thus the whirligig of time brings in
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, his revenges.
'Gainst knave and thief men shut their gaie, Mal. I'll be revenged on the whole pack of you.
For the rain it raineth every day.
But when I came, alas ! to wive,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, He hath not told us of the captain yet;
By swaggering could I never thrive,
For the rain it raineth every day.
A great while ago the world begun,
With hey, ho, the wind and the rain, We will not part from hence. Cesario, come,
But that's all one, our play is done,
And we'll strive to please you every day. 7 Shall serve